Monday, June 27, 2011

Mother thoughts

Sometimes I just can't imagine this miracle of being a woman carrying a child. It is truly a miracle how the body can adapt and transform itself into this little kangaroo pocket and just manufacture a little baby from what was once a love act. I find it stunning, beautiful and extremely fascinating, all at the same time, and my curiosity about how exactly our little "creation" will look like never stops and will probably never stop during the years to come when little A grows older and becomes a boy, then a teenager until one day he stands taller then me as a grown up man, looking down at his mother while I try to correct him or give him lessons about life.
The journey that lays ahead of me/us is so thrilling and I have an enormous amount of love for this little life inside of me. In the belly I know him by heart and all his movements, routines and how he reacts to certain things that I do. Now I just want him out so I can start to explore his little personality for real, and feel his little body that I sense so close inside of me - as a soft and warm little person with eyes and a face.

(jacket: Joseph, trousers: Indiska, bag & flats: Chanel)

9 comments:

  1. Det är ett sant mirakel. Och det slutar aldrig vara ett mirakel. Var dag sedan är en gåva att vårda. Jag är liksom dig sjuksköterska här i sthlm. Väntar vårt 3e barn bara 19 dagar efter dig.
    Och jag häpnar fortfarande över livets mirakel. Både vårt lilla som växer i magen och hur våra större kan ha vuxit och blivit så härliga individer så snabbt. Helt otroligt. Kan titta på min dottern och tänka. Hur kunde hon bli så stor så snabbt. 8 år nu snart, det var ju igår jag kom hem med det lilla lilla knytet från BB. eller hur sonen lär sig cykla och stolt ränner iväg. lille "bubben" så stor så snart och nu kommer dom bli ännu större när vår 3a kommer.
    Så njut av var sekund, för det går så rackarns fort sedan. http://afroditea.blogspot.com/

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  2. Gud jag fick gåshud när jag läste det här Stina, väldigt bra skrivit.

    Astrid

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  3. So cute and honest Stina it's marvellous.

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  4. Så vackert skrivet :) . kram till dig fina Stina

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  5. Hej Stina, jag missunnar verkligen inte din mammaledighet ....men..när är det möjligt att få fina restylaneläppar gjorda av dig?
    Vägrar gå till någon annan..

    kram

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  6. Hello Stina! I have never commented before, though I have been reading your blog for a while now. It is so beautiful what you write about motherness and so True! I have two little ones myself (boys) and I just love them so much that sometimes i just cry because of it. Also i want to remind you that those warm and loving feelings sometimes Grow with your baby. When i got my first baby i was very happy but at the same time very confused because at the beginning i didn't feel the way i thought i would. I am so happy that you have your family to support you because you husband is so much away. Basically, what i want to say is that dont be afraid of your feelings whatever the feeligns are ehen your baby is born :) being a mother is a bless also because you can be sure that somewhere is a mother that has been trouhg the same and have had the same feelings that you have. The negative feelings about motherhood are still a kind of tabu, allthou they have nothing to do with the love that a mother feels to her child. I wish you and your becoming family all the best.
    Your reader from finland, Elina

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  7. All: Thank you for the kind words!

    Elkku: I know. I have seen it with a close girlfriend of mine so I am very aware of that fact. I actually don't think It is that starnge that the love for the child kind of grown on you, and is not always there in full bloom at the beginning. Relationships takes time to create strong bands and for some it takes longer time and for other it is easier. I don't think anyone should judge. We are all uniqe and handle things the best way we can at that moment.
    I think being a mother is the hardest task in the world, or being a parent maybe I should say. There will be beautiful times and also times when anyone hates it and feel wrong and unuseful and worthless. But it is part of developing, also in the roll as a mother. I have so many honest girlfriends and my mother that I can share, not only the good part with, but also the harder things with. It is important to not glamourise it, but to dare to speak about everything, even the negative feelings indeed.
    Good luck to you from the bottom of my heart!

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  8. Sabina: Hej, ja du. Om ett år förmodligen, förhoppningsvis innan. Jag har sagt till några andra att ringa och fråga i nov-dec om jag gör lite gästinhopp då. Mycket möjligt! Varm hälsning stina

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