Friday, September 16, 2011

Two months

Little A is now about 9 weeks old and I truly love the fact that he is slowly getting older. I always knew my love for infants, really, really newborns was the biggest, but after experiencing what it means to take care of a couple of week old newborn, I have to say it was way thougher and harder than I ever could imagine, in all kinds of ways. The first 7-8 weeks are like nothing I have ever been through and fulfilling little A's demands and needs has been the biggest challenge of my life. Hard work filled with love, but still.
I've discovered that working, having a stressful job, having a career, is actually nothing when it comes to taking care of a newborn. In my eyes, work feels like holiday when I look back on the past few weeks.
For every week now I feel that the communication and understanding between what he needs and what I give runs more smoothly and he is more a little person now which makes it easier in some ways. We have settled some routines and I know him so much better now which makes everything run with less screaming and crying. In other words, he is starting to be a little boy with his own personality and his way of doing things. We have found our way of interacting and to enjoy eachother every day.
The nights are still the worst part I would say, yet the feeling is dual. Because having his little warm body against mine, meeting his big curious eyes in the night wanting to explore the world, looking at him follow the shades on the wall with all the mysterious reflections, smelling his sweet breath and listening to those particular small noices he does as soon as he is awake ... It is the most wonderful and precious times and you realise that whatever he needs, you are willing to give it with a smile for as long as he needs it. The feelings are so strong and so genuine even though I feel drained and most often like a zombie because of the lack of sleep.
But I do understand that the best is yet to come, with a thrilling feeling. Because my love grows stronger and stronger for every week that passes. It is such a journey following him every day with all the small developing steps he takes. That this little miracle comes from inside my body is still the biggest question mark in my life. How is it possible? Where does the soul in every single human being created begin and where does it end? Where is it born? Inside of me or when he inhales for the first time? When you conceive a little life, these big and enormous questions become a reality and questions about life are suddenly taken to another level of spiritual understanding.

With these Friday reflectione, let's celebrate life at its different phases. And I will celebrate the joy and my new life as a mother. Nothing beats the great feeling and the most interesting and vital task of educating and shaping a young little soul/child. It must be the biggest thing ever. And I can't wait to follow him on his road through life and sharing all my own life experiences and teach him everything I know about life, people, adventures, love, sadness, beauty and how to get the most out of it in a positive and joyful way whatever bumps in the road he meets. (And probably watch him make exactly the things I've told him not to, just to collect his own experiences).
But no matter what, I will be there as a mother, friend and as a grown up as much as I possibly can.

Have a great Friday!

7 comments:

  1. Inspirerande ord från en inspirerande kvinna!

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  2. Congratulations on the nine weeks little A! :) And to you too! What a cute photo of you both :)
    I can imagine it must be tough and especially with the lack of sleep as you write, but you seem to master it perfectly.

    Have a great weekend <3

    xx Seph

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  3. Tror jag känner igen allt:-), jag var också mycket själv med allt ansvar vilket innebar mycket arbete och lite sömn och det tuffa, stressiga arbetet med mycket ansvar jag har i yrkeslivet var ändå lite andningspauser, där behöver man ju inte göra allt och det finns andra vuxna som har lika stort ansvar och kunnande så man kan fördela arbetet mellan sig. Det som är bäst av allt är att jag vet vad kärlek är, det är den största känslan i mitt liv och aldrig kan något eller någon överträffa eller ta bort den.

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  4. Grattis A till dina nio veckor. Och grattis Stina som har klarat av alltihop så galant!

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  5. Vad tiden går snabbt, nio veckor redan. Hurra !
    Igenkänningsfaktorn är hög. Har en dotter på drygt en och en halv vecka. Hon är underbar och alldeles bedårande, men visst är det quite a challenge att ta hand om en liten och som du säger- nätterna är svårast, med lite sömn och en del gråt, amning osv. Jag tänker också att det blir underbart att växa tillsammans.
    Trevlig fredag.
    Stor kram

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  6. I'm sure that you will be a great mum! You have the knowledge and that is power. Not many mother's can teach their children everything about life. I think that is important and really the most essential thing.

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  7. Stina, thanks for being so frank and sincere - its such a pleasure being a follower of your blog!

    All the best!

    Cecilia

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