Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Just a little something ...

I had no idea that my post about my well dressed man would give such a response! Very funny to realise that so many of my readers also turned out to be men and that a lot of the female reader's boyfriends/husbands also are part of this blog.

But whenever I write something about a certain subject in life which is very often regarded as superficial, I always have some readers who comment in a negative way, saying that it is far to shallow and that they "didn't think I was such a shallow person".
That gave me the inspiration to write todays post.
I always find it very interesting to read comments like that, because in my world it is just so awkward and wrong to believe that one thing has to exclude the other. Why can't someone appreciate fashion, interior decorating, nice things, good restaurants, magnificent hotels around the world, beauty and details in life - without being catalogued in something negative? It makes absolutely no sense whatsoever in my mind. One has to be very narrow in his perspectives as a human being to react with that kind of repressed belief.
I think everyone can be everything, in a beautiful mix of shallow/deep, sad/happy, boring/interesting - only your own preconceptions set the limits in your head. I always try to have an open mind and take everything as a splendid mix and I am very satisfied by the fact that everyone can become and be everything in my mind. Quite often I find that almost all people I meet have something inspiring in them, something cool and interesting for me. Something that I can learn from even though it might just be to learn what I don't want to be like. Judging and putting people in trays is so old fashioned and life killing. They have not yet understood the big secret in life, how nice and relaxed it feels to not care so much about what other people do and don't do - and just focus on themselves and what they have in their own life that is of importance.
When you are able to shake loose the responsibility and the greed to try to find faults, defects and other "wrong things" in every one else, you will feel a heavy burden lift away from your shoulders. You will be a freer person and all the energy you use to nag, talk badly, get annoyed at other human beings will stay in you for better purposes if you choose to use it in a positive way instead. It is far more rewarding to think positive thoughts, to be kind towards others and think about them in a nice way (even if they are very different from you and your own thoughts, ideas and way of living). It is the biggest way of expressing intelligence, great intelligence, to realise that just because my way of life with my thoughts is my reality - it doesn't mean it's the correct way. People do not need to dance behind my lead in order for me to be satisfied and calm in my soul.
So why is the world full of people who are bound in their thoughts and very often jealous? Because not everyone has come that far in their own development. They are still in a journey like the rest of us, but haven't come that long I guess.
Some grown ups take everything personally, like if everything that makes them react was a direct insult towards them, as if life was against them and everyone who is happier, has a better job, a faster/more luxurious car, a nicer partner ... etc has anything to do with them and whatever they are lacking in life. But what I've learned throughout my own journey is that my happiness has nothing to do with your sadness and vice-versa. If I am sad, it won't change your sadness or bring you happiness. You won't be more pleased with your life just because I'm not.
But we can find inspiration in those who have something we want. I feel that the most established people I've met are the ones who also give the rest of us inspiration to be the ones we are.
So if style tells a lot about who you are, your views of other people and how judgmental you are - do it even more.

33 comments:

  1. OMMMGGG well spoken!!!! Love the way you write and explain life:)))))

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  2. Detta är vad jag kallar INTELLIGENS. Tack! //Mia

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  3. Wow what Smart thinking...First i'd Lobes your pics more tuen the Text...now i'm Gaming a Look at Ur Blog because of the Textes!

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  4. my opinion is, plastic surgery and philosophy do not belong together. sorry, I love your style and your little family, but botox is so fake.

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  5. Anonymous...You're oviously one of the people Stina writes about then. What on earth does Botox and philosophy to do with this text? Why would Botox make a person more superficial? Do you think dyeing your hair, fixing your nails, working out is just as bad? No but it is the same kind of change as Botox if even more.....
    This surely shows that some doesn't get it!!!

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  6. Så vacker bild och så välskriven text. Tack för inspirationen du ger. Tack för att du verkligen är ett bevis på att yta och djup är den bästa kombinationen av alla. Kramar Sofia

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  7. Hear,hear! Very well said, Stina. Exactely to the point. One thing does NOT exclude the other. People that judge are usually lacking "something" within themself. Anyway, its your life and you know the best how to life your life to the fullest. In any perspective.

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  8. @2.anonymous: philosophy is concerned with the truth. botox will not see the truth ...

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  9. Känslan jag känner efter att ha läst detta, ska jag försöka behålla, ta med mig hela dagen och dela med mig av till dem jag möter. Tack.

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  10. I totally agree with you, Stina!!!!
    But nevertheless: In Germany there is a phrase: "In einem Palast weint es sich leichter als in einer Sozialwohnung!" That means that it is easier to go through hard times when you have the financial means to help, to distract and to console yourself. This is perhaps the reason for jealousy sometimes? Liebe Grüße

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  11. Din förmåga att sätta ord på bra tankeverksamhet är fantastisk.

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  12. Well said Stina! And if I can, please let me take parts of your argument one step further.

    If we let go of the stereotypical perceptions that we tend to hold - for example if you like botox you can't credibly talk about philosophy - we can finally reach beyond the old and tired debates about how women and men should and shouldn’t be like.

    Everyone is always so keen to put things in neat little boxes so that they can make sense of a complex world. For example: it is easier to judge Stina and assume that she is superficial because she likes beautiful things. Readers get a perception of you that fits neatly in one box and they don’t have to think beyond that.

    But that is exactly the power of what you and other popular Swedish female bloggers express - like Underbara Clara, Ebba von Sydow. Elin Kling, Blondinbella, Quetzala, Rebecca S - you step outside of those boxes and see no limitations of which boxes you can pick and choose from and belong to. You can be a kick-ass career lady, you can love botox, you can make wonderful cupcakes while reading Delueze and Guattari, all at the same time. I just love it because it opens up so many possibilities! xo

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  13. Julia said...
    Du skriver faktiskt att det ALLTID säger mycket om en människa. Jag är intresserad utav vad du får för bild av en människa som klär sig fint, respektive fult enligt dig?

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  14. Du verkar vara en fin och genuin person, men tyvärr så arbetar du med mycket yta. Allt detta botox och fillers etc.

    Dock tror jag att folk som säger något negativt är avundsjuka på att du lever ett lyxigt liv med vackra kläder och vacker omgivning, alla har inte råd med den livsstilen, och du kanske kan förstå att det kan väcka primitiva känslor hos folk, det är naturligt.

    Men, man kan vara avudnsjuk och samtidigt beundra och bli inspirerad.

    Jag blir inspirerad!

    Tack för att du delar med dig!

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  15. Julia: Så enkelt. Ser jag en människa som i mina ägon klär (och också som den generella massan förmodligen skulle anse som välkädd) sig fint tänker jag att hon/han bryr sig mer om vad hon sätter på sig på morgonen och finner förmodligen en stor glädje i detta.
    Ser jag en människa som enligt mina ögon klär sig fult eller som jag anser med mindre tankar bakom plaggen, tänker jag att den människan förmodligen använder all den tid som jag och många använder till att klä oss och välja kläder, till något annat som de bryr sig mer om och som har större värde i deras liv.
    Ser jag någon som tydligt har lagt ner möda på att klä sig men som inte är min smak, tänker jag oftast att det är kul att hon/hon gjort sig fin på sitt sätt - även om jag aldrig skulle välja samma kombination eller klä mig så.

    Jag tycker personligen finner inte bara glädje i att klä mig själv, men finner också att jag fylls med glädje och kreativitet när jag ser människor som jag anser har mycket snygg, vältänkt, personlig, chic och häftig klädstil. Det ger mig mycket att någon mödosamt har lagt ner tid på att välja med omsorg, mixa och matchat och många gånger planerat vad de ska ha på sig. De blir som en slags vandrande konst i mina ögon.

    Som sagt. Det finns inget sämre eller bättre med vare sig det ena eller andra. Det är bara så att faktumet kvarstår, att Style säger mycket om dig och vem du är.
    Jag skulle kunna ta detta milsvidd längre och dissikera ner allt till små beståndsdelar, men det har jag varken tid eller intresse av. Så nu hoppas jag du förstår utan att ta detta fem vändor till vilket jag vet att man kan göra om man absolut vill och känner sig manad till.

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  16. Underbart inlagg!! Kommer lasa igen och igen for att bli battre som manniska. Lite sa som Carolina Gynning ar och vill formedla. Bara for att man ar jatteytlig behover kontrasten inte vara att man ar det helt ut. Snarare tvartom, kontraster dras till varandra och ytlighet och djuphet gar samman ju mer jag forstar mig pa det!!! Det ena behover inte utesluta det andra... KRAM o ha en harlig kvall!

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  17. Hej Stina!
    Jag är en tjej på 19 jordsnurr som är vilsen, som man är när man är 19 år. Och det jag vill säga med det är att jag imponeras av dig och du inspirerar mig och jag älskar sättet du fångar känslor i dina bilder och hur du ser på livet.
    Och så har jag en fråga vad använder du för objektiv?

    /Cecilia H

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  18. Stiiinaaaa =)))) måste bara kommentera detta inlägg innan jag går till Ditt magnifika rapport om "Standardmodellen".
    Var ute och promenerade i den vackra höstpalletten idag med sessan, då jag kom att tänka på Dig!
    Jag har träffat Dig i oerson en enda gång och det var då Du skulle berätta om Restylane mm för våran klass och jag kunde inte få Dig och Din söta UNIKA kjol ur tankarna som fick mig att tänka på min mor som är den enda person jag känner som har en sådan livsbejakande smak när det gäller kläder och utseende. Googlade Stina Auer och fann denna blogg för 2 år sedan. My God, kvinna! Även när Du bara delar med Dig av 0.5% av Ditt liv så är vidden av Stina så bred och explosiv att jag minst en gång per vecka tappar hakan av all den livsglädje Du besitter som speglar sig i visdom med oanade höjder och kunskap om alltiifrån kvantfysik (!) till kläddesigners och .. sammanfattar så här: Stina=Sky is the limit! Respect! Kan bara ana vilken underbar förebild Du är för prins A =) Stor kram och TACK för denna blogg!

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  19. If people have an issue with what you post they can click the exit. They just unhappy with themselves. I love your blog. YOu like what you like and you deserve what you work for. Live your life!~

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  20. Hej Stina!
    Jag uppskattar hur du skriver om att yta och djup inte utesluter varandra, utan snarare kan verka som komplementerande element. Jag kan ibland uppleva att jag behöver försvara mitt val att lägga pengar på designermöbler eller en klassisk väska. Jag förstår verkligen inte problemet. Jag tror inte att en person som köper en ny bil eller ett kostsamt hemmabiosystem behöver förklara sitt shoppande på samma sätt.

    Nu till en fråga: Jag har precis köpt ett par pumps ("Oh really") i patent från Louis Vuitton. Då de har ett hänglås där bak undrar jag vad du har för erfarenhet av LV:s hänglås - håller de sig "fina"?!

    Tack på förhand!

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  21. Exactly, if you don't want to read, don't. If you do, don't complain... Because telling Stina that she is superficial is obviously going to change her life entirely... good luck.

    Keep on blogging the way you do Stina. It makes a lot of people happy. Period. Also consider ignoring some comments. Everyone can read them and it's very easy to filter on our own.

    Cheers!

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  22. Stina do not change anything to your blog and consideration on beauty, fashion,.thinkings, etc... I Love this way of mixing all subjects and of course a beauty like you and your M can meet a lot of jalousy!! Philosophy and botox are definitely compatible. And please continue exactly the same way you use to do pictures and texts.

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  23. Verkligen bra skrivet. Som ny läsare så växer denna blogg på mig mer och mer då jag ser att det finns fler som uppskattar det som är viktigt i livet trots att man tar sig tid att njuta till fullo. Dessutom glömmer folk ofta bort att en blogg endast speglar en bråkdel av en person och dennes liv, det är ingen spegelbild.

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  24. anonymous: Philosophy is not always considered the truth, it is a intellectuall tool to help you understand parts of life that in most cases seems to big and outrageous to grip with pure intelligens and mind.
    There is not always one answer to questions in philosophy which you should know If your stating your grounds from that dicipline. That is the reason to those many ways of dealing with philosophy and why even the greatest of the men still are confused (or died with a belief of the answer they found made most sense) when It comes to a lot of subjects in life.

    With that said, philosophy is love for the visdom, but the visdom is not always black or white. And in a moderns society like we live in today, you should know that even the greatest of philosophy Professors can use Botox if they want and still educate in the topic. Luckily enough, Botox is a protein that blocks some of the signal substanses - but it does not block pure and open intelligens. Only twisted minds and narrow thoughts do that to us people.


    Beatrice: It is very true that money makes life more simple. I know that for a fact but nevertheless, true happiness is not found in money but in realtions with yourself and others and life itself and everything that is in it.

    But I do understand that the reality of always struggling with lack of money is devastating and very hard - because without money you will have a harder time enjoying whatever you already have in life. It is like a nightmare wiht a hungry wolf chasing you. I very much rememebr the time when I was studying for many years. But I live by the fact that you create your own reality and one can always make small changes to make it better.

    Katarina: Very well spoken and the truth in so many ways. People love putting people in small, comfortable little boxes where everyone is the same and no one makes any fuss or break the "rules".
    But I am like you, I adore the fact that we are free spirits and whoever can do whatever. I will fight for that truth and the possibility until the day I die.
    It takes people who knows themselfs to be able to appriciate the multifacated humans who are striving to break free from the labels/boxes that generations have dealt with.
    Thank you for the very interesting comment!

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  25. Anonym: Jag kan förstå att det kan väcka primitiva känslor hos folk absolut, men jag tänker inte sitta tyst när de haglar över.
    Jag tänker vända på steken och ifrågasätta vad inom dem själva som är grunden till dessa primitva känslor och ifrågasätta om de är medvetna om dem och också i slutändan visa att det är fullkomligt idiotiskt att sitta och hetsa upp sig på en människa/människor de inte känner eller har diskuterat med face to face. De får ju inte ett bättre liv dem själva för att de blir irriterade på mig? Inget gott kan tillkomma i deras egna liv av sådana reaktioner.
    Det säger ju mer om dem som åskådare än mig som skribent. Jag vet också "de facto" att det slösas ofantliga mängder av negativ energi på just idioti som detta - istället för att använda den möjligheten till att förbättra sin egen verklighet/liv och inspireras av människor som har något de själva vill ha. Kan jag så kan ju du. Kan du så kan ju jag. Vi har bara olika förutsättningar från början men i dagens samhälle så finns alla möjlighter för alla bara man är villig att sluta fokusera på andra och i stället arbeta hårt för att sitt eget liv ska bli så bra som möjligt. Tack för din kommentar!

    sheyda: Underbart! Ha, ha, ha ... och nu sitter vi här. Med varsin unge och kärlek i överflöd. Livet är så häftigt.

    Anonym: Tack för din kommentar. Det är mer klassiskt den gamla synen på manligt och männens försörjning av oss kvinnor som ligger till grunden för detta. Bra att du bryter trenden. Om du kan och har råd så ska du givetvis köpa det i livet som du finner glädje över och ej behöva hymla med detta. Männen ligger tio steg framför oss i den aspekten. Arbetar man hårt så måste man givetvis belöna sig själv. Så tycker jag. Men LV hänglås måste jag säga att de håller bra om de är försiktig med fukt och väta. Skulle då råka trampa i regn och rusk med dessa pumps, torka då av alla metalldelar noggrant när du kommer in så håller de sig säkerligen fina många, många år.

    anonymous: I try to ignore comments I find to stupid to give an answer to. But I am brought up with the fact that no questions in the world are stupid - so there you go. Thank you!

    Uta: I will not change a thing! Swear! All my lovely readers that comments in so many interesting way is 99 percent of them and you/them give me inspiration to continue far more then the negative ones.

    Everyone/Alla: Thank you sooo much for the very interesting views and comments. I am so blessed with such a versatile combination of readers. thank you!

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  26. Dear Stina, once again I agree totally with you :) Thank you very much for your answer and have a nice day! :)

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  27. Very very true. Amen. Who knew that I can really LEARN something about the most important things in life by reading lifestyle BLOGS?! It's amazing really :)

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  28. Hi Stina, this post is probably one of the most moving and well-written I have read in a long time. I actually read it a few days back when you posted it, but I can't stop thinking about it this week and just want to let you know that you couldn't have put words in writing more perfectly, and I couldn't relate more to this post.
    It all comes down to jealousy, which is probably the worst characteristic in humans, it takes away the ability to feel happy for others, to be empathetic, to love oneself.
    Keep up the fantastic work, I love reading every post and feel very inspired by your blog. Have a lovely weekend. Sara x

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  29. Stina, your post was amazing and well written. Your words, life philosophy, AND lifestyle are what have kept me coming back here again and again.
    .
    People who are commenting negatively are sad and mean-spirited, and this is why they want to pull you down. Nothing makes a negative person more angry than seeing someone else happy. Nothing makes a bitter person seethe more than another woman who has life success.
    .
    These people envy your life: your man, your baby, your beauty both inside and outside, your travels, and your job. I'm glad that you do not allow their pettiness to inhabit your world.
    .
    Your blog gives me a lot of happiness, and I'm glad that I found it.
    .
    Best to you from Canada

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  30. Great text but first and foremost I must remind you of that not all criticism can be confused with "jealousy". One must learn that there are many different opinions in this world and just because someone might have a view different than your own, different attitudes and questions about your way of thinking, it doesn't automatically mean that they are made out of jealousy. You are a grown up woman, you should know that.

    It is very naîve and very dangerous to believe that every sort of criticism you'll meet in life are based on the fact that people wish to be like yourself. There are tons of inspirational women out there with designer clothes, beautiful partners, great lives, glamourous lifestyles, even more so than your own, and I do not think that all these women will primarily accuse everyone around them for being jealous as soon as someone has a comment about their ways of thinking. That narrow minded thinking says quite something about yourself.

    Keep up with what you do because you do it good but remember that not everyones dream are to become a person like yourself or to lead a life like yours. And they can still feel that your way of thinking isn't always the right one.

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  31. Sage: Thank you for an interesting comment. But I do not refer to jealousy towards me in this post but more generally. What I do find interesting is the fact that people have a problem with the truth that a human being can be deep in her mind but like superfical things around her. I always publish criticism because I like different mindsettings and I don't think criticism in this blog is because everyone wants to be me! I don't take myself that serious and hope no one does. But I do think it is something very fascinating, the fact that a lot of people tend to take everything personal (as I write in the text) and always refer everything and compare it to their own life. That is the reason that most of them react in the way they do. And that is narrow.

    /stina

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  32. So true! Thank you for taking the time to share soo much with us!

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  33. Asolutely !! the minute one expresses love for beauty or luxury, one is labelled as superficial or materialistic. And one can be very spiritual inside, and still love beautiful things.
    Dont let yourself be affected by others! focus on the bigger perspective of life :)

    ps. this picture of you is so beautiful !!!

    www.alexavoncanisius.com/blog/

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