Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Exhausted

When I had my baby shower, one of my oldest and absolute best friends Cissi gave me this used book about children and their development phases. She already has two kids and she promised me that the book would prove to be full of precious information during the coming months and years. I hardly understood what she meant when I looked at the book that had obvious traces of extensive flipping back and forth among the pages. But oh how she was right! This book has been my bible ever since Alexis was born. It gives me explanations about those harder periods when it feels like my lovely little son has turned into someone else, someone grumpy, screaming and just problematic. If I didn't have this book as help and reference, going to the page referred to in this post and seeing  "aha!", he is in week 17 (black colour PLUS thunder, it can only mean problems) and then I read about that development period and have a better understanding about what's going on in his little soul and brain and what makes him act that way.
Which brings me to today's subject: our little son is in his 26th week, and yes, there is both black colour and thunder. So you can imagine what I am going through. He is just impossible, complicated and needs me 24/7 which can be extremely exhausting when you can't leave him a single second unentertained or by himself. Sometimes I just feel like I want to leave him in his crib and close the door so that I can sleep for hundreds and hundreds of years, but then I always put myself in his situation and his small vulnerable soul and realise that he is going through something probably ten times as dramatic himself and needs me more then ever. Tired or not, exhausted or not - this is precisely when he needs me more then ever and like always, I have to put myself and my own needs aside again.
In this period, when he turns six months old (and me 32 years old two days after) I feel more tired, exhausted, ugly, grey, etc... than ever. It may sound vain, superficial and so on, but it's not fun looking at yourself in the mirror in the morning and once again meeting a hair that badly needs my hairstylist's care after loosing so much hair because of breastfeeding and a skin that is looking for some light chemicals to make some miracles. I feel like a car who hasn't been serviced for ten years and is all rusty, needs a polish and some extra TLC (tender, loving care). I am hardly breastfeeding anymore because of the fact that Alexis hasn't been that interested in the passed one and a half months actually. I think I miss those lovely hormones that came with it. Please share with me your thoughts if you are in the same period or have experienced it. It would be very interesting to read them.

(white = calm period, white with a sun = a wonderful period, dotty = clingy period, black = more problematic with everything, black with thunder = very demanding)

The book is called: Växa och upptäcka världen or Why they cry

31 comments:

  1. Write more about fashion and lifestyle as you did before the baby? Personally I find the blog becoming more and more of a mothers blog. That might be your purpose and if so, I guess that the target group for this blog also will change over time as a consequence.

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    1. I will write more about fashion. But I've written many posts about Lifestyle with the Morocco trip wouldn't you agree? This is not a mama-blog, but I do have a son and I am also a mother and there you go. But fashion is missed, absolutely! Will try to take some nice outfits etc.

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  2. Kära Stina. Det är så roligt att följa din blogg eftersom jag har en dotter som är två veckor äldre än din son och då de förefaller ha mycket lika personligheter. Jag är dessutom under långa perioder själv med henne. Jag känner så väl igen mig i allt du skriver och är också så trött, glåmig och förvirrad. Min lilla vill inte sova och inte äta och jag känner mig som en dålig mamma... Igår kväll fann jag dock tröst genom det underbara programmet Knattetimmen på Sveriges Radio. Det är fantastiska Louise Hallin och Malin Alfvén som svarar på föräldrars frågor om barn. Det finns ett klipparkiv som gjort att jag fått ny kraft, hopp och tröst. Känner mig stärkt, glad och tacksam att jag nu hittat mina mentorer :). Det kanske också kan hjälpa dig?

    http://sverigesradio.se/sida/gruppsida.aspx?programid=3888&grupp=14477

    Kramar!!!

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  3. Hej! Hört talas om den här boken,men tappat bort namnet på den,och författaren? Å vad jag förstått så kan den va svår att få tag på.. Förmodligen för att den är en sån bra vägledare till våra små skatter.. /M

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  4. Den hade jag med - och ja den var min bibel med!
    Fantastisk att ha som stöd!

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  5. Vad är det för bok????

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  6. Jag skulle ocksa garna vilja veta vad det ar for bok...
    Jag tror min dotter ar nagra dagar aldre an Alexis och hon var (for forsta gangen pa 6 manader i princip) en ren nightmare forra veckan... Ville absolut inte ga a lagga sig forutom bredvid mig i var sang...
    Men hon ar tillbaks till sitt glada underbara sjalv sen i Lordags sa :O)

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  7. Hej Stina. Tack för din fina blogg!! Skulle gärna vilja veta vilken storlek du har på din tri-cotti. //Tomasine

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  8. Dear Stina,
    i totally understand every word you write.My daughter is now 4 month old...and yes we have been through rough times..she is like a drunk little sailor that arrived on land,after 9 months of stormy sea. But on the next day everything seems ok again. Now after reading some books about "babys mood" i now know where the problems come from.
    But hey....it gets better and better every single day. And at the end of the day we still love them to death,right?

    Mariana

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    1. Exactly, he is my heroin, my love - no mather what. But I do prefer when he is happy and bubbly.

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  9. Stina, jag såg dig pre-baby o häromdagen post-baby o tro mig, du är lika vacker o graceful som alltid! Å lill-killen är en riktig liten skatt. Dansar peppdansen för dig!

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    1. Men tack så mycket vem du nu är ... Det känns dock inte så.

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  10. Den finns som app också: the wonder weeks.

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  11. http://oslopasvenska.blogspot.com/2011/07/vaxa-och-upptacka-varlden-app.html

    //JenniP

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  12. Hi Stina, very interesting everything and I think I understood, about lot of single work and tiredness. But I also will tell you, I thought when I looked at your photos from your holiday, you looked so happy and relaxed and fresh, that it´s also a truth:-). And you have a lovely little boy:-).

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  13. Du är inte ensam! Jag tycker alltid att när jag tänker, Nu orkar jag inte mer, så går perioden över. Det verkar inbyggt i de små... Boken heter Att växa och upptäcka världen. Tyvärr ofta slutsåld i butik, så tips är appen Wonder weeks som är baserad på boken!

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    1. Helt rätt, efter regn kommer solsken.

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  14. Boken heter Växa och upptäcka världen och går inte att köpa längre då det tydligen är ngt tjafs mellan författare och förlaget eller liknande. Jag fick låna av en vän och jag vet att den finns att låna på en del BVC

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  15. The books name is written in the post, almost at the end. In Swedish it is called: Växa och upptäcka världen or in english: Why the cry

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  16. I love to follow you and your baby! I can feel the warm love-energy :)
    I don't think I've ever told you that I have been a regular reader for a long time, so today I thought it wold be good timing to tell you how much I like your beautiful and cute blog!

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  17. Love your post – my daughter is also 26 weeks (after full term), and believe me, she is a handful right now…
    Just of curiosity; after a good year without your regular skin care regime (both with creams/chemical peels/Botox), what do you find the ”worst” with your skin condition today? Lines, dryness, dullness, lack of radiation etc.?

    Warn regards Nova

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    1. I look older and more tired. And I feel like I've lost weight in my face which is not always that good looking. I don't have much wrinkles, neither before the pregnancy or now. I only use Botox in my forhead, and there I can see small lines that I never had before. A result of the simple fact that I haven't been using Botox like I normally do for one and a half year. In my skin I see a big changes, I usually have a beautiful glow and very fresh skin, now it feels gloomy, grey and are not at all in the good shape it usually is in. But I should not complain, nothing is that severe, but I surely would need some help now with things here and there to get that fresh feeling into my system again.

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  18. Dear Stina

    I understand you, be course i the same situation.My little son 7 month old is aslo very cute, but right now he is having a flu.The nights are like hell
    You are lucky that you had holiday, and saw the sun.

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    1. Both Alexis and me have been sick recently, at the same time, so I know what you are going through.

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  19. Tror att våra söner är födda samma dag (20/7) och känner igen mig i mycket av det du skriver. Vissa stunder vet man inte om man ska orka mer. Sen får man ett stort leende och det är som bortblåst! Dock skönt att veta att det är faser som tack o liv går över. Idag lyckades jag med konststycket att bryta lilltån! Mitt under pågående packning inför en långresa vi ska på nästa vecka...

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  20. Super fin blogg! Läser den dagligen! Väldigt befriande med din ärlighet! Det blir lättare (och ibland liiite jobbigare)

    Kram M mamma till en 3 årig och en 7 åring....

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  21. Stina, estoy pasando por el mismo periodo y siento que soy un carro viejo también LOL , es agradable encontrar tu blog y lo estoy leyendo de a pocos, como un libro, espero te encuentres mejor de tu accidente , los mejores deseos para ti y tu familia, me ayuda mucho rezar temprano para fortalecer mis duros días cuando los tengo.
    Saludos,
    Kira

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