Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Thank you - and some explanation

I just would like to say Thank You for all the constructive critic and feedback in the last post. I already know that most of you would like me to blog three times per day, be much more personal, write more about spiritual growth and life experiences, take photos of food when I'm cooking (which I do almost every day actually), beauty and all the rest.

I wish I had the time and the energy at the moment to do so and I wish I earned money through this blog which I don't (and it's a conscious decision not to, but it might feel more appropriate than to give it more time), I wish being very personal would feel right in my heart, but it doesn't since I grew older and became a mother. Also, when in Stockholm, I'm alone in the weeks and even though M is coming in the weekends, I'm very, very tired when Alexis is put to bed.

When I posted more about my life in general, motherhood and all of the problems and issues that come as a result of that (someone said I didn't, but look under the "being pregnant" and "being a mother" tags and you'll see), when I did more cooking recipes and beauty - many complained about how little fashion was on the blog at the time and asked every day for more outfit pictures. When I now post more of them, everything else seems to be more in demand. It's hard to please everyone and that's not even my intention: that would be impossible.
You also have to understand that my life is far from perfect and that what I'm choosing to put here is of course the more romantic side of my life. It's not totally true; I'm a human being and I have my low days like everyone else where I have doubts about my life and the situation I'm in. It's human and natural to do so. I fight with M and get upset, I get sad - just like anyone else that lives a healthy life - it's full of everything in a dynamic mix.
I also live a very normal life taking care of a small child 24/7. It's stressful and very energy consuming. It's messy and sometimes I wonder how to live with it and sometimes I feel like the best mother in the universe. I do everything like everyone else even though I don't always write about it. But I would die of boredom if I entered a blog and read about their washing, flower watering activities and all of that. For me, my blog's goal is to be something beautiful, something that takes you away from that everyday truth and makes you feel good and inspired. It almost disgusts me nowadays when mature men and women open their entire lives in a blog and write about every single little feeling, problem ... etc.
So my conclusion is that I post the best parts of my life. I'm aware that I'm blessed in many different ways but not as much as many of you might think. My biggest happiness are Alexis, my man, my family and friends. The lovely trips, clothing and restaurants are wonderful but it would have less meaning if I wouldn't feel the other, more important ingredients in my life.

Another interesting anecdote is that since our son came into our lives, so many things became clear. It was truly such a change that it felt like I had lived my life in 2D until he came and ever since I've been living it in 3D. It was like a religious ceremony when he arrived. Suddenly everything made sense and I just felt like I understood my role in this world at a totally different level. That might also be the reason why I do not feel the N E E D to write about so many spiritual things anymore. I found the biggest source of happiness and fulfillment. And it's also the toughest job and mission I've ever laid my hands on, yet certainly the most beautiful gifts in this world come from the biggest struggles.

My life is about my son and future children and will always be in some way or another. That doesn't mean that I've lost myself or that everything else that I loved when I was single or without a child has disappeared. But it does mean that everything is harder, needs more organisation and that I have very little time for myself. And when I do have a moment, taking a shower and eating lunch are more important that writing a deep and thought through text about life wisdom on this blog. I very often also feel that when it comes to that specific subject, I've already written so much about it in the passed years and those former posts can easily be found under the different labels to the left in this blog.

Writing in English has become an of course thing ever since I met M and live half of my life in Switzerland and have so many readers every day from all around the world. It would be very boring to only have one group of native readers, no matter which. It's so much more fun and interesting to have readers from different cultures, countries, cities: it gives it a better balance I would say.
That I express myself better in and more strongly in Swedish is absolutely true. It's my mother tongue and I've always taken the Swedish language very seriously and usually have a broad knowledge and large vocabulary. I always had the highest grades in literature and Swedish in higher education - which I obviously lack in the English.
One person wrote that my language is pretentious, but that's just tactless in my way of seeing things. In fact, many would benefit using a broader vocabulary and learn how to play with words and sentences. I love finding someone that has an amazing language knowledge with so many words that I don't usually find in our every day media society. I try to explore new words and write better every day in English. So far, I'm learning, but since I've started to write in English, I feel that it has improved a lot.

Another perspective to all of this is that I'm in an enormous change in my life where I consider moving to Switzerland to gather my family. That keeps my mind occupied and there is so many "ifs", "whats" and "maybes" that I'm very often so confused that it would be impossible to write something that made sense at the moment. Our whole family is in a deep and necessary change - and often you understand it better after it's been solved than during the process. It takes so much energy out of my mind and soul to prepare for this change and just finding a nicer apartment here in Zürich feels like a mission.

As soon as we move into a lovely apartment (hopefully) here in Zurich and I have my proper cooking tools, space and when I can finally start relaxing a little bit more at home, I'm sure the cooking posts, for example, will increase. Everything else also perhaps. But for the time being, I really do my best to give you a post per day at least that has some sort of meaning.

I could write about my career, but it has been on hold ever since I've been on mother's leave, for obvious reasons. Then you should know that Ellipseklinikken has been bought by Akademikliniken and what will happen in the future is therefore uncertain. Don't be mistaken: I love my career and have always taken it very seriously,and will continue to do so as soon as I am back. Nevertheless, I've always kept my profession away from my blog as much as possible: I don't think it would be serious to combine both. This blog is about small parts of my life whereas my profession is practice at the clinic.

With all of this said, I hope you understand me a little bit better and understand why it might have developed into something a little different lately. I write about what's in my life at the moment and this is small parts of exactly that. I do want to say that I really, really, from the bottom of my heart, appreciate and read all of your comments and they are the biggest motivation. I try to answer as many as possible and apologise if any feel neglected.

Lot's of love
Stina

42 comments:

  1. Heja dig Stina! Kramar från Lund

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  2. Ville bara säga att jag förstår. Bara utav detta inlägget får jag styrka och känner av dig på ett helt annat sätt. Innan har jag inte kunnat känna av dig och ibland har jag nästan blivit orolig eftersom jag inte kunnat göra det. Som en själavän jag vill hålla i handen ungefär! Det krävs egentligen inte så mycket för att känna den känslan utan bara dina tankar och åsikter, hur du upplever saker och ting känns så skönt på något sätt.

    Jag vet att människor alltid vill ha mer- om det inte är kabbalah så är det mer personligt eller skönhet. Människan vill bara ha mer, mer och mer som det även står i The secret. Vi är i den kreativa processen och människor vill alltid ha mer energi av det än må vara. Men jag vill bara känna av dig och kanske detta innebär lite mer livsåskådningar. Har full respekt för din familj och integriteten men jag tror man vinner mer på att dela med sig lite mer än att vara för stängd. Denna linjen kan vara hårfin och svår att finna; men jag är säker på att du hittar vad som känns rätt. Det man ger får man också tillbaka.

    Kom nyss hem från Barcelona som sagt. Blev tyvärr sjuk på resan och maten var en besvikelse. Lite besviken på Barcelona faktist även ifall nattlivet är fantastiskt. Vart jag än vänder mig så älskar alla Barcelona men jag kanske var på fel plats vid fel tillfälle? Troligtvis det sistnämnda. Kunde inte uppskatta staden så mycket som jag ville. Ibland blir det väl så.

    Härligt och höra av dig igen! Har mycket att tacka dig för och håller just nu på att läsa Abrahams senaste bok på engelska. Sedan ska jag gå över till Kabbalah böckerna som du rekommendera och läsa de andra böckerna som Hicks skrivit. Bara för att bli så duktig på att utöva dessa fantastiska teorier som faktist hela vårt universium är uppbyggt på.

    Kärlek.

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  3. Du gör ett fantastiskt jobb Stina och din engelska är makalös. Livet är svårt att få ihop ibland, låt inte bloggen bli ytterligare en energitjuv.

    Heja dig och alla andra starka, vackra kvinnor i världen!
    /K

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  4. Your blog is one of the few that I read on a - almost - daily basis. But I must shamefully say that I´ve been bad at leaving traces of my being here. Anyhow, your blog is a treasure!

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  5. Kom också att tänka på att jag var precis i mitten utav ditt bloggbyte. Alla poster om kabbalah och kvantfysik har jag missat. Skulle jag kunna få access till den andra bloggen? För att kunna ta del utav dessa. Då vet jag vad du har skrivit menar jag.

    Shalom!

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  6. Fina Stina,
    All credit till dig för detta ärliga inlägg. Som så många av dina läsare har jag följt dina ord i så många år. Jag är så imponerad av att du delar med dig så mycket av din livsresa. Har precis läst "Munken som sålde sin Ferrari" och utan att bli för ingående och "luddig" här så kan jag så klart se att klangen av dina ord är som ringar på vattnet (läs boken ni som inte har gjort det;.). Vi inspirerar alla varandra under denna livsresa på något vidunderligt sätt!
    All lycka och värme till dig och din familj!
    /Ulrika

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  7. Önskar dig lycka till med alla förändringar och en spännande framtid som förstås innebär mycket arbete innan du/ni har hunnit "landa" och får en förhoppningsvis lugnare vardag. Spännande att höra vad som händer i framtiden med ditt yrkesliv, kanske du t o m lämnar skönhetsbranschen och fördjupar dig i något annat område inom medicin. Alla möjligheter ligger öppna för en kreativ begåvad person. Än en gång, lycka till, ta väl hand om er!

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  8. Fantastsikt text! Du har ordets gåva. Absolut att den oss (mig) som läsare en annnan syn, ja en tankeställare. Fortsätt som du gör, vi gillar dig oerhört skarpt! Jag tror att vi är många med mig som ser ditt liv som en Sorts dröm med dina inlägg, fulla av liv och en "annan" sorts värld. Hoppas verkligen ni hittar en lägenhet snart. Många kramar

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  9. Hey Stina,

    You seem to be on the defensive a little bit. I guess it's normal with all the comments you got. But you did ask why people do not comment as often as before. And the basic answer is: People are not personal with you because you are not with them. We're not blaming you and you don't have to justify yourself. By the way, most of the things you say, I personally had a feeling that each of them were the reasons why you had shifted things a little.
    In the end, you write the blog that you are comfortable with and we readers just have to deal with it. But you need to know that there are consequences and in this case, it appears to be less comments from us. It doesn't mean we are not reading, we're just reading in a different way. I don't want to speak for everyone, but you have grown up, matured, you became more centered, that's great. We're moving on too, but still enjoying reading your blog. Don't expect us to be as involved if you don't give us the same attention as before. Do you see what I mean? It's all good.
    About being pretentious when you write in English, forget about it. That person either meant something else, or fell on her head. Isn't she Swedish anyway? I'm American and never thought your writing to be pretentious at all. On the contrary, kudos to you for being able to write as well. That's all!
    Take care, take it easy, live freely, enjoy life and keep posting.
    Emmi

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    1. I personally don't think that the person who wrote about pretentious writing meant the language as such, meaning, choosing words etc. I believe many, including Stina, understood it in that way.
      I believe she/he ment - what I think too - and which was further explained later in that comment, that the content has become more superficial. Beautiful pictures and wonderful moments captured - but the person behind those pictures has been hidden away.

      I agree that it is Stina's choice to do what ever she decides - it is her blog after all. However, I personally do no longer find whis blog as intriguing as it used to be for me. I liked so much about the posts which I assume Stina wrote while being alone in her Stockholm apartment. Those pictures and stories I love!
      If I want to see beautiful travel and restaurant pictures, family portraits with no persona included - I can look those 1 million other blogs about travel and lifestyle.

      I agree with emmitska on defensiveness. As se said, there is no need. Most of us just perhaps wanted to explain why they do not comment these days- which they perhaps used to.

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    2. Great comment, Emmitska! I totally agree.

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  10. Dear Stina,
    I didn’t have the chance to answer your question yesterday.
    I came across your blog some months ago and was really impressed by your spiritual approach on life and your work on your personal growth. I have been searching your blog for all the posts about this topic and at this point I would like to thank you, as just one or two of your posts about quotes (I think of a book of E.T.) brightened up my day.

    I am a mother of 8 year old twin girls. I have struggled hard to get pregnant going through a lot of pain, insecurities and anger before I was finally able to hold my beautiful girls in my arms. So I could rely to what you described during the time you were facing a similar issue. In the meantime I am divorced (and still happy person). I have worked my entire adult life and am what most of the people would call a “business women”. As a single mum and responsible for my own little company I have a lot of stress in my life but luckily enough I met 2 years ago what might be the love of my life, giving me a lot of support, but who is living in another country. Due to different reasons we are not able to live both in the same place, so in the meantime we are both member of a frequent flyer program ☺ Also in this aspect I understood your doubts in your relationship. And funny enough in my case I’m the one living in (German part of) Switzerland and he in the North of Europe ☺

    I enjoy your blog a lot as something that I read whenever I’m home and online.
    Still it has become more superficial but not in a negative way, it’s about your choices. I fully agree with you that you have to keep your privacy for the sake of your family now, that you have the responsibility over Alex and I do not agree with the people who say they want to hear you talk about everyday details and about your choices and insecurities in private life. Still, I would want you to write again more about spiritual aspects of life, which are also private but not intimate. I believe that one thing that the birth of an own child should not stop, is keep the work up on the personal spiritual growth. In my own experience that work keeps things in balance and I would love to read your thoughts about it on your blog. Be sure to read my comments on those!
    xx
    Angela

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  11. Kjære Fantastiske Stina!

    Takk for at du tar deg tid til å inspirere, motivere og glede oss andre med bloggen din. Og ikke minst, at du viser at du er et menneske, som også opplever hverdagens opp- og nedturer - som alle oss andre. Jeg er i en tilsvarende situasjon som deg - en 6 mnd gammel sønn, mannen min har jobb på andre siden av landet, vi har vært fra hverandre alt for mye i perioder, og vi forsøker nå å finne leilighet og en felles hverdag som er god for oss alle tre. Ikke lett! Men, jeg fikk motet tilbake etter å ha lest innlegget ditt nå. Takk:-)

    Gode tanker og klemmer fra Lill

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  12. "For me, my blog's goal is to be something beautiful, something that takes you away from that everyday truth and makes you feel good and inspired."

    Just wanted to say that I think you totally succeed in this aim. There are few places in my life where i find this precious kind of beauty. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for doing what you do, and for doing it just the way you do it.

    Wishing you and your family lots of love and happiness.

    Caroline

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  13. Fantastiskt bra skrivet Stina, och du inspirerar om möjligt nu ännu mer!

    Kramar från mörkhåriga tjejen i hissen på NK

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  14. Fantastic text! That's pretty much all I can say. Wonderful!

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  15. Stina!!! Well said!! Lovely words - I wish I could hug You!! Love Kicki

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  16. Ååh jag tycker du ska fortsätta precis som du gör! Älskar att komma in här och drömma mig bort genom dina bilder. Fint och ärligt inlägg förresten!

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  17. I love the way you are writing about becoming a mother.´It`s truly the biggest lifechange ever.
    Helen

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  18. Dear Stina,
    Your text is very well explained, but I dont understand why people have not catched that now you have another life. A life with a family which makes you to travel a lot, to manage your days with all your things to do, Alexis to take care. M to please and to love, to change often of country, and all the women's things to accomplish during a day. So they want sometime more of details about
    spiritual, receipts or anything else but for my part I am so happy each day to see you, to watch your pictures of fashion, to dream a little bit and be inspired that I really do not need, for the time being, of these "terre à terre" problems. We can imagine that, of course, you have some pains, some fitting with your love etc etc but why do you have to describe that in your blog.You changed you are an accomplished women with a nice little son and many many thing to do. It's already very apprecsiable that you came back with your
    nice pictures and explanations. It's true that I feel very much like you for a lot of things and I do appreciate your blog as it is. it's another thing than before and what ? You do not need to justify or explain why you have Chanel's bags, why you dont' answer all the time etc etc. People are asking always more. They do not accept the changes which occur following the situation of the life. Stay as you are my Stina, you already give a lot with this blog in your busy actual situation. Thanks to continue this precious and sincere blog. So sensible also. And anyway I am unconditional fan of your way of dresssing (and of your beauty) !!! M is really an happy man. XXXXXXXXXXXX PS. Sorry for my bad English I hope you have undersood what I meant.

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    Replies
    1. dear stina i write as a reply because due to some technical problems on this blog i can not post the commentary...i love your every day outfit and this is the reason why i read and wait for your posts every day..the first thing in the morning when i open my computer at work..i love the lifestyle posts as well..don't make them more rarely as they are as important as everything else...the passion for fashion exquisite lifestyle and aesthetics in general what brings a lot of people every day on this site..is inspirational..and we plan vacations and even dress having your experiences in mind ... it is lovely to have someone sharing things that are making our own experiences more beautiful..

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  19. Hej Stina!

    Kände att jag ville ge feedback igen, på din respons på våra kommentarer. :)

    När jag sen läste jag Emmitskas kommentar här ovan, inser jag att hon har fångat mina reflektioner på pricken och uttryckt det bättre vad än vad jag nånsin skulle kunnat själv! :) Så jag kan bara instämma med henne.

    Din blogg ska självklart vara på dina villkor och en glädekälla, och inte ett måste! Du bad oss om svar och här finns svaren. De ger förklaringen på hur det kommer sig att responsen är lite lägre än tidigare, även om det kanske inte är punkter som du känner dig beredd att ändra på. Det är din blogg så du gör precis som du själv vill. Vi läsare agerar efter det som finns här, på gott och på ont och efter var och ens tycke, smak och värderingar. :) Så enkelt är det! :)

    Kramar från Bella

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  20. I totally agree with emmitska's response. Couldn't have said it better myself.

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  21. Så fint skrivet igen, Stina.
    Besöker din blogg dagligen och njuter av den.

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  22. Rara Stina!

    Jag hade länge önskat mig en tröja och i butiken visade biträdet plötsligt en bild på Dig i den! Du är så fin i den! Jag köpte tröjan och på köpet fick jag Din blogg! Du är en underbar person med kloka tankar och Du är absolut värd allt det Du har och får vara med om! Du har blivit en källa till glädje för mig och jag tittar in hos Dig varje dag även om jag inte kommenterar så ofta!

    Varma kramar!

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  23. Wow! Din blogg är fantastisk; fina texter och vackra bilder! Fortsätt så!

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  24. Fina Stina!
    Jag har följt din blogg sedan flera år tillbaka - jag älskar den!
    Den är som allt levande, den rör sig och förändras med tiden precis som det ska vara!
    Kör på fantastiska människa!
    Kram

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  25. Makalöst. Jag älskar ditt sätt att uttrycka och förklara dig pa. Din skrivning och dina vackra foton pa din blogg är sa underbara. Fortsätt pa samma sätt!!! En topp blogg i mina ögon. /Johanna

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  26. Stina, I feel privileged to have access to the small snippets of your life that you choose to share with us! Please continue to write in whichever way makes you feel comfortable and fulfilled. The most important thing in life is to live it, and as long as you do that all is well in the world!

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  27. Stort tack för det mest ärliga och bästa inlägget på länge! Din står i särklass till andra bloggar vad gäller foton och skriver du så här är du BÄST gällande innehåll också!! :) Sedan håller jag med andra talare att du efterfrågade vad vi tycker och vi svarade, och det är ju så med bloggar och alla sociala medier att ändras innehållet ändras även ev följare och feedback. Det är inget negativt med det utan ett ständigt växlande flöde vilket gör att sociala medier står ut från andra!

    Stor kram till dig och din fina familj!

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  28. An amazing post, love "Ifs" and "Always"

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  29. Fina Stina! Att du förändrats de åren jag följt dig är för mig fullkomligt naturligt och även jag har förändrats. Jag har växt och mognat, varit med om nya upplevelser som format mitt liv och i och med det förändras ens perspektiv. Lika så har det ju varit för dig. Själv känner jag att det varit mycket tråkigt om du hade stannat kvar där du var då och inte utvecklats till den individ du är idag. Det är också det som är vackert, att få följa med på resan. Visst kan ag ibland sakna någon typ av inlägg men ibland får jag också en härlig överdos av det jag längtar efter. Precis som i vanliga livet.

    Ang livets föränderlighet, framtidsplaner och oro/funderingar. Jag vet att du vet i ditt hjärta vad som är rätt. Jag har själv varit med om det så många gånger. Många gånger är det rädsla eller andra människors rädslor som påverkar oss i allt för stor grad. Det kan både sakta ner oss men även pusha oss framåt i en utsträckning vi inte är redo för. MEn du vet, du vet i ditt hjärta vad du ska och vad du vill. Men det kommer mogna fram. Alla val i livet som jag gjort där jag fyllts upp av energi, sprudlade livsbejakande energi har alltid varit rätt. OCh jag vet med säkerhet att de valen allt kommer vara rätt i framtiden också.

    All kärlek och omtanke till dig!

    Kram
    Mary

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  30. dear stina, I read your blog for a long time now. In my oppinion you have a great balance of fashion, lifestyle & your life. I love the pictures and the little stories you share with us readers! .. and this text was just amazing! go on doing what you do, write lively and beautiful texts to the wonderful pictures you take! all the best from austria

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    1. ITA! from another Austrian follower. :-)

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  31. I still love your blog whatever you choose to blog about. It always leaves me with a feeling of something beautiful and positive. :-)

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  32. Mitt liv är inte alls som ditt, men jag känner igen mig i dina känslor för ditt barn och ditt sätt att se på världen. Och ditt sätt att blogga. Jag skriver inte så mycket på min, mer bilder, men jag visar helst bara upp det fina jag har, gör... bara för att det gör mig glad! :)
    Ha det gott och lycka till!

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  33. Kära Stina, det är rätt underligt att jag kan känna en slags närhet till dig fast vi bara har ensidig kommunikation;) Men jag har läst din blog så lång tid och njuter av dina vackra foton och upplevelser.
    Förlåt om jag kommer med en "jobbfråga"...men jag har bara väntat på att du skulle komma tillbaka från din mammaledighet då jag vill att du ska vara den som ger mig botox och restylane. Hur kan jag få det nu? Är du i Stockholm ibland och arbetar? Om inte, vem kan du rekommendera?? Jag har aldrig tidigare gjort några behandlingar. Stor kram och allt gott! Berit

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  34. You took so much time and made such an effort to explain yourself - Thank you for that! Already wrote you my opinion in the post below. ;-) Take care and looking forward to any new lovely pic/entry; yours, Macs ;-)

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  35. Tack för att du påpekade att du postar väl utvalda, vackra ting på bloggen. De flesta gör ju så och ibland glömmer man bort att det faktiskt finns en vardag precis som ens egna bakom alla underbara bilder och leenden.

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  36. Jag har alltid hört talas om din blogg men aldrig läst den ordentligt för till ytan verkar vi så olika att man kan tro att vi är födda i olika världar, och det är vi nog nästan. Men när jag tar mig tid att verkligen läsa dina ord känner jag ett slags systerskap, att vi faktiskt har mycket gemensamt och att det finns en styrka och en trovärdighet hos dig som jag beundrar.

    Bisous
    Mia

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    ReplyDelete