Tuesday, August 28, 2012

From city to small town










I have to admit how few times I've actually travelled around in Sweden. In fact, I've seen the world ten times around, but I haven't paid much attention to my own country. My parents use to take me up North when I was younger to ski and we also have family in Värmland. I've been to Göteborg once and Åre a couple of times of course, Halmstad once before and Dalarna a small amount of times when I was really young. I've been to friends in Åhus and Österlen and even Falkenberg when I recall, but neither of these destinations have been neither regular, often or long. And the last time that I took a trip somewhere in Sweden was four years ago when I spent New Year's eve in a lovely house of a friend in Värmland. So, I'm not used to how big of a difference it really is to Stockholm or any big city. Stockholm is the best city ever, but also the worst city ever in many ways. I've never seen a city where people are so forced to be mainstream and the same as here, but still with the personal conviction that they aren't. It's very particular that the focus is so little on indvidualism as it is when we in fact are a very lonely city in the sense that we have a very large number of people feeling alone and living alone, per capita. When I was working as a regular nurse many, many years ago in a private, elderly home it really stroke me how lonely we really are, and family bonds mean very little in these northern parts of the world.
In Sweden in general, we like to be the same, dress the same and think the same whereas in many other places on earth, the opposite is more attractive and the general standard about how to be. People dare to stand out and be different in a broader and deeper way, both mentally and how they live, act, dress... etc.
When you visit a beautiful but small town like Halmstad, especially in the way you can when someone actually lives there (and actually moved back after spending some time in Stockholm), it's so fascinating to see all the differences although we all come from the same country. Just like with my own city Stockholm, I both love it but still it confuses me. For me, anywhere else than a bigger city is too small in the way that it has very little of an international feeling and basically for the fact that everyone knows everyone. But it's in the same way so warm, friendly and people tend to care more about each other and the mentality is less up tight, less snob and less stressful. People are who they are in a bigger and more obvious way that really surprised me. All the same, it's an enormous difference that I just can't stop thinking about. And with that said, Stockholm is a minority and all the other places in Sweden are the majority. Good or bad, it's for you to decide. Personally I need the bigger city's feeling of anynomity, the vibration and a more sophisticated lifestyle only a bigger city can offer. But still I'm not completly satisfied. I would love to have the true nature around my corner, the peace and quiet to be truthfully happy and pleased.
For my dear girlfriend, I really envy the closeness she has to everything; the nature and spaces of absolute calm - freedom. I miss that a lot in Stockholm. We have the archipelago, but it's too difficult to get there for a spontanious outing. We have Djurgården and Brunnsviken - but neither of them stand up to the tranquility and mindpeace I'm seeking for when dealing with the serenity only true nature, fields of earth, the ocean and the never ending horizon can give. I have to go by car to reach further out.

We had such a lovely time together, us girls. Talking about things of importance in life, things that actually means something for your own spiritual growth, like when you share experiences. I might have a addiction to style and I might work with the medical side of aesthetics, of staying young and beautiful - but honestly, talking about it day and night bores me to death. So spending time with intelligent, humble humans with strong personalities but with the same latitude of what a good conversations stands for, it's very liberating and fulfilling.

I needed this. Really. To get new perspectives, see other places, think a lot and re-evaluate. It was totally necessary to be able to get a break from my dear, dear son, motherhood and everything that's constantly in my life. One year spent most time by myself has been tough, I'll admit that anytime. But with that said, also the best time of my life.
Thank you Minna and Mac for those incredible hotel like breakfasts (I ate 3 freshly made croissants, one sandwish, an egg and fruit!!!). Thank you for opening up your lovely home for us and thank you for being such a role model for how an exquisite couple should be and behave towards one another. Let's always stay true to who we are, never stop surprising ourselves and always accept the differences between us. Bye, bye Halmstad!

20 comments:

  1. love love love you!
    ♥♥♥

    time flies - you´ll be here soon again.
    and then we will have sunshine!!

    puss!

    (haaa de´)

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  2. Blev helt tagen av dina välskrivna och fina ord. Underbart skrivet! Jag bor själv nära naturen och älskar det, det ger så oerhört mycket. Självklart behöver man både naturen och storstad ibland. Vilke lycka att ni är så fina vänner, er helg låter underbar. Du var verkligen värd en helg som denna!

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  3. Dear Stina, I almost dont' dare not say that I feel all the sentiments that you exprime, I fell them deeply. Not in the same sense because not the same country, but his kind of person (like us) have problems to be completely happy one day, too mature, to open to the happiness or unhappiness of others, looking for a spiritual way of knowledge all the times.... I can notice that you have the response already of a lot of things with your little Alexis, and M and this wonderful family. Can you imagine to feel alone, without family for example, with all these permanent sensation of the world? It's a perpetual pain in the heart. It comes back very often when we are in the nature as you have been with your dear friends,. I really appreciate you more and more. XXX

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    1. Yes Uta, I love to be in the city but my soul and heart need bigger, more ture things to keep me happy. The spiritual need is so deep, it's fundamental for developing and becomeing a better and more aware person.

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  4. What a wonferful writing- it feels nice when people,like you, open their hearts for other people to see! That's a rare quality especially in the sometimes cruel world of blogs.

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  5. Hej Stina. Jag har länge läst din blogg, älskar den. Du verkar som en fin kvinna på många sätt. Kram från Finland.

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  6. Det är så sant. Jag upplever en ensamhet i Sthlm som ingen annanstans och i hjärtat vet jag att här vill jag inte stanna.

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    1. Speciellt inte när man blir äldre ...

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  7. Love! Nu har jag precis köpt en Canon EOS 450d bara för jag blir så sjuuuukt inspirerad! I vilket läge fotar du mest, tv?
    Kram

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  8. I saw u today in the city,,,,, My GOd you have amazing appealing!!!!!! So different form all the rest,,,,,hugs,,,,,

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  9. jag haller med dig nar det galler din beskrivning av Stockholm och hur alla vill se likadana ut. Darfor flyttade jag till London for 12 ar sedan och det ar det basta jag nagonsin gjort. Kommer aldrig att flytta tillbaka till Stockholm, fast jag ibland har hemsk hemlangtan (men det blir ju aldrig som man tankt och vill nar man val halsar pa) Blev mamma for snart 10 manader sedan och det ar viktigt att Astrid vet vart hennes rotter ar. Hon doptes i Svenska kyrkan, har svenskt namn, svenska traditioner ar viktiga, jag pratar bara svenska med henne, men samtidigt kommer hon nog inte vara svensk (fodd i London och hennes pappa kommer fran Sarajevo) och da menar jag att hon inte ar fodd i Sverige, svenska kommer inte vara hennes modersmal, och det ar ocksa ok. saknar svenska naturen. Astrid och jag aker till Stockholm i december, langtar till att gora anglar i snon, ga pa julmarknad pa Skansen m.m

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    1. Bara för att man flyttar från Sverige betyder ju inte det att man inte kommer vara mycket i Sverige! Lycka till med din lilla!

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  10. Va är det för grön juice som ni har på bilderna ovan? Den ser väldigt spännande ut!/NK

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    1. Minnas special! På en massa grönsaker och ingefära.

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  11. Nu kommer det komma en lång kommentar, jag hoppas innerligt att du orkar läsa, för jag menar verkligen vartenda ord!

    Idag bara känner jag hur det spritter i kroppen och jag ville skriva till dig nu nu nu. Jag vill förmedla min innersta tanke en dag som denna, min födelsedag. Jag hittade din blogg en natt när allt kändes tungt och mörkt och jag kände mig mycket vilsen som männisika. Din blogg och dina ord lös upp som ett ljus i mörkret och skänkte mig trygghet, lugn och en slags värme, kärlek genom cyberspace. Inte anade jag då vad som komma skulle.

    Jag hade precis stött på "law of attraction", "Kabbalah" och allt som kommer med det. Jag började läsa, förkovrade mig och ändrades fundamentalt som person. Jag kände tacksamhet för allt positivt som hände & lärde mig mkt av dina spirituella inlägg..som fungerade som ett komplementt till alla anna information jag fördjupade mig i. Sen hände det som inte gick händam jag fick en hjärninfarkt..en stroke..som 32-åring är det inte det man förväntar sig. Men jag hade tur i oturen och min Stroke berodde på ett medfött missbildat blodkärl i lillhjärnan och jag återhämtade mig till fullo. Först var jag arg och ledsen, men sedan kom tacksamheten. Om jag trodde att jag tidigare känt tacksamhet hade jag fel. Det här var något helt nytt. Tacksamheten för frisk luft, för att jag kunde ta mig upp på morgonen, för att jag fick lyxen att gå till jobbet..allt kändes härligt. Det andra gnällde för passerade mig bara förbi som oviktigt, det fanns annat positivt att fokusera på.

    Idag, drygt 1 år sedan (maj 2011) är jag så tacksam och bubblar av en ny slags energi. Visst fick jag ofta höra att jag var glad och sprudlade redan innan. Men det här kommer innifrån och ibland känner jag mig så glad att ögonen nästan tåras av tacksamhet för vad som hänt just mig.

    Lite över ett år senare har jag bytt till ett nytt bättre jobb, startat en blogg som på relativt kort tid ändå fått ganska många läsare för min "genre", startat en ny karriär, blivit intervjuad av aftonbladet, blivit nominerad till matbloggspriset, träffat nya vänner, nätverkat och knutit kontakter av bara sjutton, är i begynnelsen att börja tillverka "exlusiv hemmagjord" sylt, fått flera härliga samarbetspartners och är på G att starta ett eget företag inom matfotografi/matstyling.

    Jag kanske hade kommit hit utan att jag stött på din blogg en sen vinternatt våren 2009. Kanske hade jag inte det. Det jag vill att du ska veta är hur oerhört mkt det betydde för mig och hur oerhört mkt det känns i mitt hjärta det dina ord betytt för mig genom åren!

    Jag tror fullt på att min positivitet, fokusering på det jag älskar och min tacksamhet för allt som sker som tagit mig hit. När ngt känns så starkt inom en, att det inte finns en enda tanke utom just den tanken. Ja..då kan bara bra saker hända!

    Med all kärlek!
    Varma Hälsningar
    Mary

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    1. Mary, what shall I say? I am so touched by your words and I am so happy both for the bad and good things that's happen to you. Because in the end, it's the deepest sorrows that often brings the biggest gifts. I will always be very happy to remember this story and I do remember every time you wrote a comment in the past about complicated life truths and situations and I've been trying, with my oen life experience help and guide but with you taking charge of your own life.

      Your blog is stunning and I and so proud over whan you have accomplished! Really, and you made it all yourself. If I could only get MORE people realising and understanding how much great things would come from taking commmand over your life, feelings, thought and be a strong, independant woman who are aware of the power of yourself.

      this day, when i got this long comment from you, I hade the best vibe in my mind and body. I had people smiling to me all day long and I was of course smiling back. It was such a energy, wherever I put my foot. The power of awareness and the possibility to give is so amazing and will give so much in return. And then I got your comment and a email with more or less the same purpose - and I was like. Wooooowwwwww!


      Lot's of warm and loving energy to you! Keep me posted!
      /Stina

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