Friday, September 21, 2012

Etiquette


Ok, all of you readers, I need your help. My man and I have a small discussion here at home whether it's ok in Europe in general to wear your heels when attending a party at someone's place? No matter what the floors are like, parquet or not. I'm eager to hear all of you, Swedish or from all around the world, especially in Switzerland. I really hope it's ok, like here, but maybe I will be very disappointed ... Tell me! What's the etiquette where you live?! (If you can, write your answer in English, but if you can't, Swedish is fine too!)

(skirt: Balenciaga & heels: Louboutin)

54 comments:

  1. Of course you'll leave your heels on! Everything else would be bizarre! ;)
    I live in the south of France, and it would be seen as weird to dress up only to be barefoot...

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  2. Hei! Jeg ville ikke bli happy, hvis du kom i stilettheler inn på parketten vår... De ville lage merker!! Litt "bredere" heler er ok. Sorry! :-)

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  3. I'm finish girl living in switzerland and I allways wear shoes for parties. If it's less official I take them off. In switzerland it's more usual to wear shoes inside than in finland.

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  4. Jeg kan bare utale meg om Italia - her tar INGEN av seg sko, sommer ei vinters tid, mye fordi alle gulv er flislagte....

    Ser at i Norge, er vi litt mer varsomme, da vi ofte har tre parkett gulv, og da er ikke stilletto sko like velkomne -

    SÅ håper jeg du får svar hva som gjelder i Sveits - lykke til med flyttingen :)

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  5. I woouldn't like anyone to wear heels in my home, since it destroys the floors a lot. I don't know anyone it Sweden which allow shoes inside. I understand that it spoiles a part of dressing up, i think so as well.

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  6. Sverige är enda landet där man aldrig riktigt vet (så jag brukar ha med mig flats i handväskan) - men annars har jag aldrig varit någonstans där det inte skulle vara ok.

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  7. I'm swiss, live in Geneva and have never taken my high heels off, not one single time......:))))

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    1. That information doesn't add anything to this conversation.

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  8. Generally speaking it's part of a classy style to wear heels in a party indoors although here in Finland we generally always take our shoes off when inside a house. If the material of the floor might get damaged (especially parquet), then not high heels. Otherwise it's ok to wear heels.

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  9. In Germany I would say we generally take our shoes off. I personally don´t like it when people wear shoes in my house...

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  10. I'm from Germany and was never asked to put my heels off at a party. In my opinion, dressing up and especially wearing nice shoes is an act of courtesy towards the host, no matter what the floor is like.

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    1. And the host it polite not to tell you off... see the circle?

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  11. I would never never ask anyone to take there heels or other shoes off, when entering my house!!!!!!!! That is so nasty and unesthetique.

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  12. I think that the obvious thing is to ask if it is okay to wear shoes indoors.
    To show respect for the host and her/his home before even considering entering with shoes.
    Then they have a chance to say if they have any special wishes about their home.

    It depends on several things, the floor, the carpets, the season but most of all,
    DO NOT EVER walk in to someones home without being 100% sure that your shoes are absolute clean.

    - I have had people just walked into my home, and i did not appreciate that.
    I didnt even have a chance to wipe their shoes off, just walked in and left ugly marks on the creme colored carpets.

    Considering marks in the floor, yes it can be a little disturbing, but try to see it as an personal memory lane.
    Im sure it was a fun dinner, party, gathering - a piece of unique art!

    And one thing is for sure - The shoes comes with the outfit - but unfortunately in someonelses home, its their rules.

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  13. Of course you can and you can always take off them if dancing.

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  14. I always ask the host if I can keep my shoes on if it's parquet-floors. Usually it's ok, bu I always bring a pair of nice flats as back-up.

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  15. I Sverige är det inte ok att gå med högklackat på trägolv. Vi som investerat dyrt i fina golv bli lixom inte så glada av sådana repor. Att gå barfota till en fin utstyrsel är inte samtidigt inte kul, så jag föreslår flats som varken gör märken eller färgar av sig.
    Men om man är i t ex England med ingrodda fitted carpets är det inga problem alls med skor inomhus.
    Jag tror kulturskillnaden till liten del beror på våra varma svenska hus, att vi inte alls oftast behöver inneskor, till skillnad från oisolerade anglosaxiska hus exempelvis.
    Mvh Karin

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  16. Of course, you can go and keep your heel's shoes. If dancing and that the floor is parquette, you eventually can take them off. That's all.
    Here, this is not very well educated to make leave the shoes from our guests! we do not practice this kind of thing only if the person ask for in any eventuality of damage of something. (parquette or delicate carpet or anything else. Hva a good time. XXX
    I wrote by I Phone but not sure it has gone.

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  17. This is quite an interesting subject, in my experience if it was a formal get-together you never took off your heels in Switzerland. But then again, one time (at a Swedish gathering) we did (and it was a bit awkward for the girls!

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  18. Iam German, living in Spain and i prefer having some broken floor because of wonderful Women wearing beautiful heels, than having tons of bacteria on the floor because of all the barefooted feet. Urg..

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  19. Don't remove the heels, the hostess has to deal with it. Same goes with men's shoes that have been waxed right before dinner and leave marks on the floor. I remember my mom always nagging after the guests left ad she was trying to remove the marks. Plus you don't ask people to remove their shoes because for men it could be quite embarrassing what socks they have on, I swear... And if you let men have shoes on, you can't discriminate and have girls bare feet.
    It's a balance with what the hostess cooks, which you have to eat. In return, you dress the way you want, including shoes. By the way, the hostess should wear heels as well, or at least not slippers.
    This is all in France. In the US wear I live, everyone is in flip flops all the time...

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  20. Det absolut värsta är väl när vuxna människor måste ta av sig sina skor!
    Ofta (som kvinna) har man ju dessutom byggt upp en outfit och där är skorna viktiga! Jag tar av skorna om man måste, men tycker det är sjukt oartigt att be sina gäster ta sig sina skor. Springa omkring i strumplästen som dagisbarn..
    Om det är viktigare att bibehålla sina golv kanske man inte ska ha gäster..

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  21. A friend of mine had to have her parquet floors completely re-sanded and polished after a guest at a party ruined it with her stiletto heels...

    Maybe a larger heel wouldn't cause as much damage...?

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  22. Hello...

    In Switzerland we usually have the shoes on,no matter what the floor looks like. It would be extremly rude to ask people taking the shoes of,like they were children. No,keep your heels on dosen't matter what the floors are like because floors will be damaged anyhow, that's how it's been forever through history. Etiquete wise it's unpolite to not wear heels and especially to ask the girls to take them off........no,no,no.....

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  23. Jag brukar ta med mig snygga ballerina som back up ifall värdfolket inte gillar skor inomhus. Självklart behöver man skor (i nån form)om man är uppklädd i övrigt. Det ser ju helknäppt ut att ga runt i strumpbyxor...

    Jag skulle fråga värdfolket om jag var osäker. Antar att det inte finns nån generell regel (förutom i överklassen där jag uppfattar att ingen skulle ta av sig skorna).

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  24. i´m swedish but live in Italy. In Italy it´s considered very strange to take of your shoes but in my house me and my boyfriend do it because it is soo much cleaner! BUT if there´s a party I think you should make an acception because shoes are part of the outfit! Both for men and women...

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  25. Difficult, personally I like to have my heels on when attending private parties. However, when having soft wooden floors they get ruined (hard floors, marble, stone floors are off course ok!)... Check out the link for heel dices, could be a solution?

    http://www.oliviapalermo.com/glam-tip-roll-the-dice/

    BR Stella

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  26. It is perfectly ok to wear high hills at parties in Romania and even at "zero degree" protocol official events, attended by high representatives of the state and top business representatives..at posh parties in Paris and Milan it is perfectly all right to dress up, including of course a dazzling pair of loubbies and choos and olympias and the list could go on and on...and this goes for most European parties attended by a certain kind of people belonging to certain circles, people having "usage du monde", traveling and very much aware of their presence and the manned they hold themselves...dressing up can be perceived as a form of respect not for yourself solely but for the others as well...you are perfectly, impeccably dressed for each one of the occasions you present if that is the issue of your debate:))

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  27. Hello Stina!

    I believe that one should not wear shoes on the parquet floor., It becomes so ruined and sorry for those who have a fine parkettgolv.Personligen I think you can wear shoes if the hostess o values ​​says it is ok otherwise, so it takes them.

    Would not like to have my floors ruined by heels that scratch the parquet.

    have a nice weekend

    Remmy




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  28. Well, I think it really depends on who/where/what is going on. If I enter someones household with heels on for a party I will first check the room and see if people are wearing shoes. If they are, I keep them on. If some people have taken them off I'll ask the host. I don't mind if I'm asked to take my shoes off but I'd prefer to keep them on since they'd "go with my outfit". But really, its up to the host.

    I guess it also matters if its stiletto's or pumps.. Pumps dont really leave marks whereas stiletto's can.

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  29. Have Lived in the UK 9 years and have never been asked to take my heels off :-)

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  30. Here is another voice from Germany: In my opinion its very small-people-like to ask a well dressed guest to take his shoes off on a party. If someone really has such a delicate floor, than he/she may better rent another party location. It's a part of the outfit. And do you remember Sex and the city...when Carrie was asked to do so? Her shoes were stolen! Sad story...
    But there are some exceptions: A party on a boat where are no stilettos allowed, or If its very rainy, muddy weather and guest would come in very dirty shoes (In that case I would change my shoes after arriving), or a childrens birthday party...because they climb sofas, beds ect.
    Taking your shoes off will give a party a very, relaxed for my taste too casual feeling. When I arrive at home I do so...but not on a party.
    Antje
    www.greenpinkorange.com

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  31. I agree with Milea, I mean I do the same. But it´s little stupid to jump out of my shoes when I have a nice dress on, I don´t ask the host, but sometimes they say: have them on! And this is in Sweden of course:-)

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  32. It's ok to have shoes on, but not the shoes you wear outdoors! EEwwww.., all the bacteria and germs from the streets outside.. So bring another pairs of shoes, indoor shoes, before entering someone else's home!!!

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  33. I'm half Swiss, half swede, at the age of 12 I started boarding shook in England and after that I stayed in London, so I speak for Switzerland, Sweden and England. KEEP YOUR SHOES ON!!
    I know that in Scandinavia people tend to take them off which is ridiculous, but common curtsy and etiquette says that you shall not remove your shoes.
    You don't dress up to go to a party and switch to a track suit once you get there. Shoes are a part of the outfit!

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  34. I also always bring flats or wedges to parties in stockholm if the host/hostess has a beautiful parquette, anything else would be inconsiderate and rude. Only if the hosts have verbalized that killer heels are ok I'll put on my darlings! People pour too much effort and money into their homes for making it ok to ruin the floor for one single evening.

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    1. I completely agree with Jenny, and after all, it is not the shoes that are supposed to be the star of the evening but the people.

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  35. In would love if it was more common in Sweden to wear your shoes inside someone's home during a party! I lived parts of my life abroad in USA and southern Europe and I never took my shoes off when I attended a party. I guess it's a cultural thing, but I believe in Sweden we are more narrow minded when it comes to wearing shoes inside. Here in Sweden we seem to be more concerned about our wooden floors then our outfits and fashion.

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  36. I often host party´s at our house and I want peaple to dress up and the women to wear their heels. I would never ever ask someone to take off their heels. I think it´s rude and it ruins an outfit. I also had to think of sex and the city when Carrie was asked to take off her Manolos and she said "...but this is an outfit!" So girls, keep your heels on! xx doro
    PS.: I´m a Polish girl living in Germany since...forever ;)

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  37. If I'm hosting a proper party, my guests are always allowed to leave their shoes on. I'm prepared for that and take some precaution. However, if I have friends over for some relaxed dinner/dvd watching etc. I prefer them to take off their shoes because I had it in the past that people put their shoes on my sofa and that's a big no no for me.

    P.S I'm a German girl living in the UK

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  38. If I'm hosting a proper party, my guests are always allowed to leave their shoes on. I'm prepared for that and take some precaution. However, if I have friends over for some relaxed dinner/dvd watching etc. I prefer them to take off their shoes because I had it in the past that people put their shoes on my sofa and that's a big no no for me.

    P.S I'm a German girl living in the UK.

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  39. Ok, so a lot of people in here say "I have never been asked to take my heels of at someone's home so it's ok"... Whether you have been told off or not is not the answer - I believe few people would tell you off for wearing your shoed but MOST will think you're inconsiderate. Think about where your shoes have been and now you're walking around someone's home in them..? If you also have kids crawling around on that same floor it's not only rude but disgsting and disrespectful.

    That's that for me. (Oh and I'm swede that has lived in greece, england and japan for many many years)

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  40. I guess that the further south you come in Europe, the more common it is to have hard floors (stone, hardwood floors, carpet etc). In scandinavia, soft wooden floors are common, so with soft wood floors I would ask the hostess (if an informal gathering I would take them off anyways). With stone floors, hard wood floors, laminate etc I would keep the shoes on!

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  41. of course u should keep your shoes on - it is part of your outfit and nothing looks sillier than a woman with a fab dress running around in socks or a man in a great suit without his good shoes- (my mom forces everyone to do this at xmas and i completely disagree). if u are so worried about your floor / or that u may have to clean perhaps dont invite people over.. whats next? u cant wear perfume? i live in italy most of the year. xoxo

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  42. Man kanske ska fundera över inredningsmaterial o.dyl. om det är så att man ofta ställer till med finare bjudningar. Kanske välja hållbart golvmaterial i sådana utrymmen där gästerna(&värdfolket) kan tänkas gå i sina stilettos. Det finns säkert speciallack som kan strykas på i femtioelva lager, så att parkettgolvet håller bättre?!? Skulle nog inte be gästerna gå strumpfota i finkläder i mitt hem(i Finland).

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  43. Om värdinnan/värden har skor innomhus, så har jag som gäst också det. Men om värdinnan INTE har klackar på sig hemma hos sig, så tar jag av mig klackarna. Detta oavsett material på golv. Jag gör alltså som värdinnan själv, tycker att hon får sätta standarden i sitt eget hem, vad som är okej eller inte. Jag ser även till att när jag väl har på mig klackar när jag är hemma hos ågon, så är det mina inneskor, dvs hela och rena. Jag har haft gäster som kommit hem till mig mitt i vintern med smutsiga klackar och det är inte så uppskattat.

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  44. Hi,
    Thank you Stina for being considerate and thoughtful, and asking if it is ok to wear shoes inside someone's home, during a party. Most people do not stop to think about, what is polite, and how they should behave.

    I'm from Finland, and I would never wear shoes inside, at a house party or otherwise. I would wear socks/panty hose, and if I was asked to leave my shoes on, I would still take them out.

    I don't know the formal rules of etiquette in formal parties, but whether there are 1-5 or 10-50 quests at someone's home, the mess is going to be terrible, with shoes on.

    I happen to hate american movies and tv-shows, where they lounge on the sofa, with their shoes on the table or on the sofa....

    Take care,
    a fan.

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  45. Well, Im from Sweden and I agree with all of you who have said that taking of your heels would somewhat ruin your outfit. If I am envited to a party and I feel uncertain I would ask the hostess if its ok. I also have a tip to put furniture pads under your heels. I have painted the pads black, cut them to the size of my heel and put them on, which saves nice and delecate floors. Also, some shoe shops have transparent heel protections which you put on the lower part of your heels. Perfect and floor safe!

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  46. EVERYONE: Thank you all fot this world wide spread information about etiguette all around. For me it's simple, no heels - no party!

    And I would be happy to let M take part of these all answers too! He, he ...

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  47. I have been told that shoes/not shoes is a class thing in Stockholm (I'm Italian). I live in Östermalm and it seems to me that for most people here keeping their shoes on is the natural thing to do. Good wood floors do not get ruined by high heels!! I have oiled oak floors at home (probably quite old) and most people that come to my apartment keep their shoes on. I hate it when adults take their shoes off at parties. Looks so silly. I always call and ask when I suspect it might be a shoes-off household. You sort of can tell who they are.



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  48. Stilettos can be quite rude to wear when visiting someone. Keep those for your parties at home.
    People tend to mistake keeping shoes on and bringing shoes to wear indoors.
    I would go crazy if someone walked in from outside onto my carpets. Disgusting.
    Not many swedes wear protection for their shoes outside but they think it's "classy" to wear shoes indoors so they keep the filthy shoes on.
    For a first time party... if the weather allows, wear a pair of non stilettos. if the weather is bad. Bring an extra pair of shoes. When you know your hosts and their home, you will know if stilettos are ok or not for their next party.

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  49. Enligt vett och etikett ska man ta med sig separata inneskor som endast är till för inomhusbruk samt inte har klack som förstör golvet. Detta är allmänt känt inom etikett sammanhang och det gör man både i Sverige, UK och Frankrike (har bott på alla 3 ställen). Att ha på sig stilettos inomhus anses oförskämt och får värdinnan/värden att känna sig obekväma och självklart kan man inte säga ifrån. Bor man i en hyresrätt som många gör runt om i Europa så bryr man sig självklart inte lika mycket, men man vet som sagt aldrig om lägenheten är hyrd eller ägs av värden/värdinnan. Om någon kom hem till mig med höga klackar skulle jag bli väldigt stött och be dem ta av sig dem direkt, så vidare de inte vill betala några hundra tusen för nytt golv ;)

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  50. Kan bara hålla med de flesta, anser man att det är ens "rätt" att alltid bära klackar så är man en oartig och ohövlig gäst. Självklart ska man inte förstöra för andra...

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