Monday, October 8, 2012
A mothers thoughts
Slowly but surely, we're getting there. My body is tired and my mind is longing for my dear nanny who helped me get those pauses a couple of times per week which is so necessary when raising a child.
I've said it before: being a mother is the greatest gift of them all, but also my toughest trial of everything sober in the human mind. There's nothing in this world that makes as much sense and brings so much into my heart, life and soul, as our son does. The love I feel for him is beyond everything I've ever experienced and being able to be home and smell every little piece of his skin while noticing every single little new skill, is life in it's purest form.
But at the same time, raising a child is the one thing examining your patience and that constant sense that ones own freedom has disappeared. It's a never ending job which no one who hasn't experienced it first hand can understand. What it does to your brain and feelings; not finding time for anything a grown up without children takes for granted. Like washing your hair, writing someting at the computer, editing pictures, eating lunch in peace and quiet, visiting the toilet for private matters, having a few minutes for just pure thinking and philosophing.
Everything is with a little one wanting to be close, explore, make a mess and be curious around this big, new world of his. It's so lovely to be a part of this wonderful developing 24/7, but also very, very demanding. Love and frustration in a dynamic mix of pleasure, needs, love, unique moments of treasure ... and sometimes you just want to close the door from that screaming little kid and hide.