Monday, October 8, 2012

A mothers thoughts


Slowly but surely, we're getting there. My body is tired and my mind is longing for my dear nanny who helped me get those pauses a couple of times per week which is so necessary when raising a child.
I've said it before: being a mother is the greatest gift of them all, but also my toughest trial of everything sober in the human mind. There's nothing in this world that makes as much sense and brings so much into my heart, life and soul, as our son does. The love I feel for him is beyond everything I've ever experienced and being able to be home and smell every little piece of his skin while noticing every single little new skill, is life in it's purest form.
But at the same time, raising a child is the one thing examining your patience and that constant sense that ones own freedom has disappeared. It's a never ending job which no one who hasn't experienced it first hand can understand. What it does to your brain and feelings; not finding time for anything a grown up without children takes for granted. Like washing your hair, writing someting at the computer, editing pictures, eating lunch in peace and quiet, visiting the toilet for private matters, having a few minutes for just pure thinking and philosophing.
Everything is with a little one wanting to be close, explore, make a mess and be curious around this big, new world of his. It's so lovely to be a part of this wonderful developing 24/7, but also very, very demanding. Love and frustration in a dynamic mix of pleasure, needs, love, unique moments of treasure ... and sometimes you just want to close the door from that screaming little kid and hide.
Talk soon.

11 comments:

  1. Stina...you are so right. I just turned back to my fullimejob after being a fulltime mother for almost 2 years. My colleagues without own kids think that this time was like a neverending vacation for me....haha. You know what I'm talking about.

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  2. I have followed your blog for a long time, but haven't made a comment before. As a mother of a 8,5 month old little princess, your words could be straight from my keyboard! The love that I feel is so much more than I ever could have imagined, but so is sometimes the frustration too. But even after the hardest day (my girl is teething, so quite many of those days lately), a smile on that little face wipes off all the tension and gives so much.

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  3. Så är det nog för de flesta mammor.... Men det går över, har jag hört :)

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  4. Soon love, soon i´ll be there to give you a helping hand and a long hug.
    Hang in there and give Prince Charming a kiss from me,
    xx M

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  5. As I'm a mother of a 4 months old son i totally agree on your post. It's good to know that i'm not the only one with such feelings.

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  6. By the way: I love your blog and checking everyday if there is a new post online

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  7. I am a mother too and I have so far lived the full time mother thing, then for a few months I was the only working parent and now we are two working parents trying to make everything work. I must say that the best situation was being the only working parent (as long as my hours were not too long). The baby had the best possible daycare (the father),I got to have it all (my career and all the stimuli that the working environment gave me, the "adult tim" and my baby on evenings and weekends). That really suited me, I do not think that I am cut out to be a stay at home parent. And I really think that a day at home with a child can make you more tired than a day at the office (depends on the child and the office in question of course). Now it is more difficult, with both of us working and all the logistics with daycare etc. But it is all worth it of course, no doubt!

    MK

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  8. That´s exactly how i feel about motherhood, stina! Thanks for putting it into words. Hi from Germany!

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  9. So true! Lovely little life...but oh so exhausting some days (but then again a little smile and you get more love and energy again)...
    /Kristina home with lovely son, aged 14 months <3

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  10. Du är inte ensam om att känna så. Jag känner så väl igen mig i din beskriving. Jag har en son som är 3 år (en liten vilding) och mitt tålamod har aldrig satts på prov så mycket som under dessa 3 år, men jag har aldrig heller upplevt en sådan otroligt stark kärlek innan. Det är verkligen den största utmaningen man som människa kan ställas inför och samtidigt det häftigaste man kan uppleva.
    Lycka till med att komma i ordning i ert nya hem, spännande!

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  11. I have been a mother for four years now, and its the toughest job ever... and it changes your life completely. lots of sacrifices, and lots of giving up of past experiences and being completely unselfish.... which is hard. But i love my daughter more than life itself...
    www.alexavoncanisius.com/blog/

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