Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Meet Marie over brunch!


Meet stylish and natural beauty Marie and her gorgeous daughter Ella! Marie is always naturally dressed so great; sober in Isabel Marant, Alexander Wang or some other more laid back designer!
Marie was one of these brave ladies who contacted me through the blog when I started to come here more regularly, and ever since I just adore her! She's such a lovely woman and one of the ones I'm absolutely closest to. She's brought up and raised in London but her parents live in Stockholm, after years in Colombia among other places.
Marie is honest, fun, caring and just a wonderful mother to her daughter who has those lovely brown eyes inherited from her Turkish father. When we meet, it always gives me a lot; she's great to talk to and we're really starting to have a relationship like two old girlfriends, which I really appreciate and cherish.
Of course, she has a great career left behind as a banker working in London, but just like me, she's chosen to give the first years solely to her family. I'm so grateful to have met such a beautiful person, inside and out, and it's so much fun to see our children grow side by side!

18 comments:

  1. You're right, she really is a natural beauty. And no make-up it looks like! Happy to hear you have such amazing friends in your life, both old and new. And her daughter.... speechless!

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  2. They are both really adorable. Love the fact, that you chose your kids over your career, there is nothing like that bond you create in those years!
    Best Carina

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  3. how beautiful is this post!
    it´s so good for you that you´ve found somebody you can spend some time with, it´s so hard just to be with the baby and not talking to other women (in person). a good conversation with a person you like puts the world in the right perspective and kinda wakes one up from the baby stuff.
    ok, am i talking about you or me? haha..;) i´m so funny today lol

    and indeed, she´s such a beautiful woman, and her daughter is also a beauty already, the second picture is amazing!

    have a great sunny day!

    xoxo doro

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  4. Vad mysigt att hitta sånna vänner. Tänk vilka dörrar bloggar öppnar :) . ♥

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  5. I love the colours of these photographs, in the food, the mum and daughter's colouring, it's all so soft and soothing.

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  6. That is lovely. Great pictures and I am happy to hear that you are making good friends in your new hometown! Just wanted to say that it is not, in my humble opinon, all black and white with women, motherhood and career. I am a mother and I have not abandoned my career. And my child is lovely, polite, secure, lively etc. still, and we have a fantastic connection. Like the one I had with my mother to this day (or at lest I hope that will be the case). My mother also always worked full time. But she is such a wise person, so full of love and the rock of my life. She is also very highly educated and with so much life and work experience, which has been of great benefit to me in my later teens and now as an adult, we have so interesting discussions. My cousins, whose mother stayed at home, have a much more complicated relationship to their mother (I also have friends who grew up with stay at home mums that loved it and turned out great, of course). So let us not generalize. Besides, in our case, my child's father also gets to be very present. We live in a Scandinavian country which facilitates our way of life and I know not everyone can, or want to, live like us . I just want to enourage all other working mother's out there - you have every potential to be just as great mothers as those who stay at home. But of course, you might be even more tired in the evening.

    MK

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    Replies
    1. thank you very much for this comment! I am shocked to see how modern women still think it is normal to quit their job and that the man's career is so important that they cannot take a parental leave (especially when the couple is wealthy). My husband earns more than me and has a phd (I have a master)still he decided to spend half a year at home with our daughter and was as involved as me from the very beginning.

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    2. Ladies,

      First of all, this is not a competition about who is the best mother or not. It's just fact telling each other what works for them in their families.

      It's hard to compare someone who lives in Scandinavia with the rest of the world, where it's not at all as easy, nor cheap, to have childcare and having a greater possibility to combine work with motherhood.

      I think both Marie and me would work 60 percent by now if we were in Sweden, it's sooo much easier there to have them both. I've been working some and taking care of Alexis, and I do have to say, even though my job is very intense and stressful, that being a full time mother, 24/7 is for me harder then having part of the day at work. But we're all different.

      I think I will start working earlier with next kid though, maybe when the small one is about one year or so, but still I think it's wonderful for the child to have one of the parents always at home, I think we all agree on that even thought it's not possible for all mankind.

      There is no generalisation here, we all do what works best and should have respect for one another in their choice.

      Best,
      stina

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    3. I do not see it as a competition about who is a better mother at all, what matters to me is that society should finally break with the old fashioned roles for women and men. Of course you move to your boyfriend, even though you have no chance to get a job in a country where you don't speak any of the official languages. Of course you stay home with the kid... Since you are so proud of your career and abilities it shocks me that you present us the caffè latte mom on your blog.

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    4. Awkward approach, I must say. Since you don't bother to write your name, I've got to assume that you're the same person who above was wondering why some guys don't take a parental leave, particularly when they're wealthy. I'll tell you why from my own experience. We're pretty well-off in my family and it's of course my husband who creates most of our income. I myself earn much less. Which is why we decided that I'd take care of the kid and he'd continue working. Why? Because it's EXACTLY when you're wealthy, you can't really afford having your income significantly decreased for half a year. Your expensive house is still to be paid for and all other things still have to be paid for. Yes, you can argue that the father's time with the kid is more important than an expensive bag for his wife. True. But these aren't the expenses I'm talking about. People who have money have usually more financial obligations of different kinds than those with more limited means. And it's simply impossible to, let's say, stop paying the high heating bills in winter (which you always get when living in a big house) just because your guy is on a parental leave. The world doesn't work like that....

      Anyway, what I really don't like in your comment is this fown-your-nose attitude towards women staying at home and "having mom latte". I think if Stina shows us the same in 5 years, then there'll be a reason to comment on that. Now she has a small kid and another one on the way. Probably she'd be staying home wherever she'd be in the world and in whatever situation she'd be. From my own experience I also know that it's so da*n easy to be critical about somebody who moved to another country for her guy and has no job etc. I did the same 12 years ago. I'm Polish, but I moved to Sweden for my present husband. It took me 5 years to reach the same point in my career which I departed from when leaving Poland. It takes time to settle down, learn the language and simply become part of the society and system. Stina has lived in Switzerland for...how long? Is it one year now? What do you expect? Go try it yourself, we'll se how fast and far you'll reach within a year...I think your post is not only nosy, but also rude and it's not only towards Stina. And those mantras about "traditional" roles for men and women, which we should get rid of. Such talk only shows me how spoilt modern young women are - we've achieved everything, at least in the Western world. We have a right to work, we have a right to vote, we have a right to demand our guys to stay home with the kids and basically everything is up o us. So what else do you want? Drill holes in the walls? Do some carpentery work? Drive a Ferrari in Formula 1? Then go and do that, but don't make any SHOULDs and SHOULD NOTs out of it for the whole society. That's all. Marta

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    5. Hi stina, i don't want to criticse you i'm just curious why do you think it is not possible to work 60% in switzerland? I have several colleagues / friends who reduced to 50-70% after having kids. Kindergarten are quite nice here and the the costs are ok (we pay 800chf for 8 days per month).

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    6. Hi Marta,

      I do not agree that women have the same status and possibilities that men have. I think there is still a long way until we are all equal.

      Julia

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  7. Hi Stina,

    Yes, she is very pretty and as some other people pointed out, no make-up and very natural!!! I'm jealous :). You two have very similar features by the way: blond, fine and feminine lines, awesome skins.

    Have fun and cheers!
    By the way, how is pregnancy? I'm not sure you mentioned how far along exactly you are? Baby gender soon, huh? Don't forget to let us know :)

    Emilie

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  8. Mother and daughter are so beautiful !!

    Also in response to anonymous- women have the right to choose what they want to do. I don't think Stina is judging anyone who decides to have a career and raise a child. She is simply saying that it is a also beautiful and rewarding decision to dedicate your time to your child for the first few years, as this can help it forming a very strong bond.

    Jill

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  9. There is another aspect of the whole “stay at home mum” thing, the fact that many women don't “sacrifice a career”. I know you really had (probably still would have!) a successful career Stina, and it was a pleasure reading your passionate posts about your job, but many women land home because they just didn’t like their job, or felt forced to, maybe because of family traditions.

    Here in Germany we have generations of women, who “decided” to stay home, who now years later never managed to enter the job market again. This turns out to be a high burden for the society since these women, never paid any health or social insurances.
    Please just don’t glorify the whole “stay home mum” situation Stina. You’re a role model for many women. Use that to motivate women to be independent instead of dependent on their partners.

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  10. I fully support each family's right to do as they choose and I am sure that having a stay at home mother is the best choice for many families, for many different motives.

    These discussions very often get infected and are almost impossible to have - everyone tends to wildly defend the choice they have made in their own life and it very seldmom leads to any constructive debate.

    It is such a sensitive issue, we all love all children madly and the idea that we might not give them the very best due to the fact that we stay at home or not is very disturbing and hits very hard. Some mothers work because they want to, many more because they have to. Ditto for mothers that stay at home.

    My comment was motivated by an urge to balance a picture that I felt was coming out of this post in connection with some other recent posts, were the stay at home situation has been celebrated. Certainly rightly so, but suddenly I felt a bit less at home at this blog, which is one of my favourites.

    All the best,

    MK (a career mum who sometimes cries at night but is mostly happy, ditto for her child)

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  11. Thank god we live in a free world;)
    Everyone is allowed to do what he/she wants.
    Stina, its so important to have a network of friends, at home, abroad, in the world!
    Sunny greetings to Switzerland,
    Lena

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  12. Dear all, i just want to share my experiences reg. Work and children. Our son (10 months now) goes to the kindergarten 2 times per week. My husband and I reduced our worklevel to 80% so that during the week he stays with one of us at home. Plus i have the possibility to work one day from home. For us this concept works very welll and i think that our little son can take a lot from the kindergarten as he can interact there with a lot of children from different ages (4 months-1,5 yrs). Besides that he learns the swiss dialect which will help him to integrate into the swiss society. As already mentioned before by some other readers this is not a competition and every family choose for their self.

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