Friday, September 27, 2013

Leon

Can't believe that I've got two small perfect boys. Really, it's so amazing and I'm so grateful it hurts my heart just by thinking of it. Thank you Universe for sending them to me, giving me the opportunity to be a mother and sharing my life with them, see them grow up as different individuals, teach them all I know and learn from them during life goes on.

But all of you mothers out there reading, I have a question or two for you. I know I just raised Alexis but memory tend to forget the bad parts when it comes to details. And there's nothing as crucial as sleep during this period of a new born, yet it's the thing lacking the most. So my scenario looks like this; Leon is most awake during the time frame of 7PM- to when we go to sleep, most often at 11PM. But then he does not want to sleep, but wants to lay on my breasts in the bed and just suck, suck and suck. Even if he already eat most of the milk, he gets extremely upset, stressed and angry when I'm trying to take him away and this results in the fact that I hardly can sleep until 2-3AM which is the time when he slowly has reached his deep sleep and I can push myself a bit away from him and get some very longed for sleep. After that he wakes up between 4-6 times. Is this a behaivor you recognise? Or most probably you do, but how did you handle it? Were there any solution? It's clear that he uses my breast as a pacifier (napp) which I know you should not let them, but who has energy for a screaming baby when all you want is to rest and sleep? You do what it takes to have them quiet and calm. I've tried giving him the pacifyer during nights but he goes crazy and spits it out.

Share your experiences with this tired mother please! Thank you!




30 comments:

  1. Nu vet jag inte om du redan testat detta, men har du provat andra sorter av nappar? Vissa barn är mycket petiga med vilken typ av napp. Silikon eller latex, storlek på sjäva sugdelen, form på sugdelen, om nappen är kall eller varm. Det sistnämnda kan vara viktigare än man tror då de är vana vid mammas varma bröst.
    Det kan även vara värt att testa hans egen tumme. Kanske inget man vill uppmuntra, men i desperata situationer så :)
    Lycka till!

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  2. Min lilla flicka är nu 8 veckor, fram till att hon var 5 veckor vaknade hon konstant på nätterna, varje timme och ville ha bröstet. Vid 5 veckors ålder ändrade det sig av sig själv när hon fick en dygnsrytm, nu vaknar hon för att äta var 4:e timme, trots att hon ligger intill mig. Så håll ut, det blir bättre av sig själv, man lär sig också sova medans man ammar:).

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  3. Oh I so remember now how it was the first period... With my little baby - who is now nearly two years old - it was the same. He woke up every 2 hours throughout the nights and often wanted to sleep on me. Also, he went completely mad if we tried giving him the pacifier. Oh well, I don't know how to deal with it I'm afraid, other then just hanging in there and letting the father take care of as much other things as possible; food, child no 1, errands... In a few weeks I'm sure Leon will have calmed down a bit. Cause I remember that suddenly the problem wasn't really there anymore, and I didn't have a clue when exactly it stopped being a problem. :-)
    Hang in there Stina and trust your inner powers.
    xx

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  4. That third photograph is so wonderful Stina and those little feet in pic 4, I just want to reach out and hold them, so magical.

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  5. Testa olika nappar. Avent, Philips är vår dotters favorit.

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  6. Hi pretty Stina,

    first don't say to yourself "I should do..." or " Leon should not..." to have two babies is really not easy, because the main problem is that you don't get enough sleep at all. If one is sleeping, the otherone is waking up, wants a fresh & happy mum to play with... and I know from my experiences, that this is inconvertiable- after a few days. Slowly you'll loose your patience for sure.
    I would never say/write, "Stina, do it like this..." I will just tell you what I did, even EVERBODY said by time, Julia this is WRONG, I didn't care and just did, what I FELT WAS THE RIGHT THING FOR ME AND MY BABY(s)
    My younger daughter Alisa, sleped -like Leon- in the noon, and was awake always! with me & hubby until we went to bed- also around 11pm latest. She was sleeping during breastfeeding and sometimes I could put her to her own bed next to me, and other nights she was sleeping into my arms, in my bed( it is to long to descripe, but I was almost sleeping sitting in bed and had something under my arm, that made her sleeping higher then me, because sure I was afraid, to crush her to death with her next to me) it worked. She woke up not more than 2 seldom 3 times till 7am :-) that was perfect, and arround 7.30 am my big daughter, (she was 2,5 years old to that time) and I was relaxed and had enough energy for her :-)
    That was my personal behavior, how I found for myself, this was right. Belive me, she is 4 years old and sleeping in her own room and bed without any problems :-)
    By the way, both of my daughters refused pacifier, so they "used" my breast a lot. Elis (big one) 15 month breastfeeding and Alisa (just) nine month...

    Long report I know, but hope I could give you small view into my hard first year :-)

    Love and hugs from still very warm Izmir
    Julia
    ps. the pic's from Leon are lovely, he is as adorable as Alexis, when I saw the pics a loud
    ahhhhhwwwwwwwwwww süüüüsss came out of my mouth and Alisa came, saw the pics and said, "oh Mama ist das Baby süss können wir das haben? :-)" maybe M can translate

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  7. Hi Stina,

    I have two small children myself, bit don't think there is anything right or wrong way, you have to find your way :) Leon's behavior is quite normal, and most babies are like this until 3-4 months age. The reason is biological, women produce less milk during the evening and is has a different composition than daytime. However, the evening milk has a higher fat content to make the baby tires and sleep longer. If Leon is hungrier, try to save some extra milk during day time and give to him in the evening, you could also try other pacifiers. But anyway, it is quite normal that babies want more close contact during the evening, so my advice is just to try to cuddle as much as needed, and give him the milk he wants. My best advice, it will turn better! As you know from Alexis, one behavior could be gone the next day and be replaced by a new one:)

    Love your blog! All the best and take care, Marit

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  8. Hej Stina,
    Ja du, min tredje son föddes för 6 månader sedan och har varit otroligt tuttig och vägrat napp tills nu. Han vill amma hela nätterna och ja, det har varit så hela tiden. Han sover också gärna på kvällen och har sin vakentid mitt i natten varje natt...suck...sedan sover vi till cirka 6 eller 7 och ja, man är trött. Nu försöker jag få honom att ta nappen på natten så jag får sova lite men det är en liten kamp. Men det kommer gå lättare, det vet man ju efter mina två andra barn, så enda rådet: försök få sova på dagen eller tidig kväll när du har mannen hemma eller din stora sover. Kram!

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  9. Dear Stina,
    My sons are now grown, but I remember being very tired due to lack of sleep, colic, inconsolable crying, and breast feeding. I found that I did what I felt was right for us and allowed the pattern of life to gently guide me. I read the books about babies with sleep problems and theories on how to resolve them. However, I just could not abide with some of the "tough love" concepts and techniques. My mother advised me that the situation would get easier with time and patience. Try to find a workable solution where you are able to find a comfortable position in bed and sleep with little Leon. During the day try to get a few "cat naps" in, if for only a half an hour. It does wonders! You are doing fine with Leon!

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  10. Like everyone says it will get easier when he's around 3-4 months old. My concrete advice is to buy the book "The baby whisperer solves all your problems" by Tracy Hogg. Her EASY routine saved my life when my girl was a baby! Good luck!

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  11. He's so cute! :-) Anyway, be consistent and try the pacifier - sooner or later he's gonna accept it. But remember that kids are like that sometimes. Some of them "hang" on their mothers more than others and there's nothing to do but wait those first few months away. Luckily time flies by really fast and in a few weeks the situation may be totally different. Good luck!

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  12. Hej Stina! När jag trött och utarmad besökte min barnmorska då mitt första barn var ca 4 v sa hon (drygt 60 år gammal och med 35 års erfarenhet) :- Jag ser att du är helt slut. Gör nu så att när du kvällsammat vid 22-tiden, låt pappan ge en flaska ersättning direkt efter så blir han mätt och nöjd.
    Sagt och gjort, första kvällen slukade han en flaska ersättning och sov sedan i 6 timmar och mina bröst fylldes på till morgonamningen. Detta var räddningen eftersom man på kvällen har lite och mindre näringsrik mjölk i brösten.
    När dottern föddes 20 mån senare gjorde jag på eget bevåg samma sak och Halleluja! hon började också sova 5-6 timmar i sträck på en gång och snart blev det 8 timmar.
    Detta var absolut min räddning då sömnbristen höll på knäcka mig - jag fick mina barn vid 36 och 38 års ålder och inbillar mig att man har mindre ork då än om man varit 10 år yngre...Lycka till!

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  13. Om du verkligen vill ha en stabil struktur så rekommenderar jag: Gina Ford, The contented little baby book. Detaljerade scheman för första året. När det ska matas och sovas. Funkar som en dröm. Har en treåring som sov hela natten vid 7v. Och har en son som är 6v nu och på god väg, sover i egen säng och äter en gång mellan 11pm och 7am. Men du bör älskar rutin, struktur och förutsägbarhet. Fick den rekommenderad av ett Schweiziskt par.

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  14. I remember Luka did not want pacifier for a long time (maybe 2 or 3 months) and it made it gag so much. It was painful to see. I don't care what people think but we tried within reason and changed the kinds of pacifiers and in the end, it really helped to sooth him. In the meantime, he has never slept with us. He was in his crib in his room from day 1. It required a lot of walking between rooms, but that's what daddy is for. Because when I am breastfeeding, I can't sleep, daddy could... Luka started to sleep through the night (as in more than 11 hours straight) at 2 months. I think he understood that the parents needed to sleep and could not go on for ever waking up 3 to 5 times a night.
    I know for sure that the first month is all over the place. They have the days/nights mixed up because in your belly, during the day, you walk and it puts them to sleep. At night, you are still so they are the most active. It will take a little bit of time for them to adjust. I would just be patient, do what you feel as a mom and take it easy on yourself. Make sure she naps during the day in a room not too dark and make it pitch dark at night. Maybe pump milk and give her a bottle in the evening right before you go to bed (11 PM you said?) and make that a routine. She will get it. You can try also the "crying out" method. The label is horrible and it's not what people think. Put him in his crib when he is due for a nap or bedtime. Let him fuss/cry for 5 minutes, then soothe (not picking him up at first, just caressing his head, etc. If it fails, then pick him up). If the crying for several minutes is too hard on you, you can stay in the room with him to reassure you. Technically, you want to get to a point where he can be in his bed by himself without crying, just hanging out there and be content with it until he falls asleep.
    All those methods worked for me and Luka and every baby is different. So that might not work for you guys at all!
    But the bottom line is that everything you are describing is pretty normal. Keep faith and rest as much as you can! Ask M to take both kids for just one hour and you stay home and sleep. No cleaning, tidying up the house or anything, seriously!
    Good luck! Emilie

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  15. I remember Luka did not want pacifier for a long time (maybe 2 or 3 months) and it made it gag so much. It was painful to see. I don't care what people think but we tried within reason and changed the kinds of pacifiers and in the end, it really helped to sooth him. In the meantime, he has never slept with us. He was in his crib in his room from day 1. It required a lot of walking between rooms, but that's what daddy is for. Because when I am breastfeeding, I can't sleep, daddy could... Luka started to sleep through the night (as in more than 11 hours straight) at 2 months. I think he understood that the parents needed to sleep and could not go on for ever waking up 3 to 5 times a night.
    I know for sure that the first month is all over the place. They have the days/nights mixed up because in your belly, during the day, you walk and it puts them to sleep. At night, you are still so they are the most active. It will take a little bit of time for them to adjust. I would just be patient, do what you feel as a mom and take it easy on yourself. Make sure she naps during the day in a room not too dark and make it pitch dark at night. Maybe pump milk and give her a bottle in the evening right before you go to bed (11 PM you said?) and make that a routine. She will get it. You can try also the "crying out" method. The label is horrible and it's not what people think. Put him in his crib when he is due for a nap or bedtime. Let him fuss/cry for 5 minutes, then soothe (not picking him up at first, just caressing his head, etc. If it fails, then pick him up). If the crying for several minutes is too hard on you, you can stay in the room with him to reassure you. Technically, you want to get to a point where he can be in his bed by himself without crying, just hanging out there and be content with it until he falls asleep.
    All those methods worked for me and Luka and every baby is different. So that might not work for you guys at all!
    But the bottom line is that everything you are describing is pretty normal. Keep faith and rest as much as you can! Ask M to take both kids for just one hour and you stay home and sleep. No cleaning, tidying up the house or anything, seriously!
    Good luck! Emilie

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  16. This happened to me!

    My baby boy had tongue-tie it turned out (not sure what its called in swedish) which meant he would suck non-stop and cry every time I tried to put him down. It was only picked up after 2 weeks as he has lost a lot of weight... (They are unable to suck if the tie is bad).

    Might not be the case for you but my learning is: get things checked out as it doesn't hurt... Even if people tell you that your are being silly (like they did with me!) as I thought things just don't feel right!

    Lycka till xxxx Maja

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  17. Lilly har börjat sova oroligt nu också. Hon somnar i och för sig men vaknar varannan timme mellan 24-06 och däremellan är hon endast nöjd när hon ligger precis bredvid mig. Jag har börjat amma henne liggandes och då somnar både hon och jag. Sen sover vi så mest hela tiden. Det känns som enda lösningen. Ibland så vaknar hon till och "snuttar" lite till. Med de två tidigare har det aldrig varit så och jag tror mest det är olika faser. Hon tar i och för sig napp ibland men är väldigt bestämd med när den duger och inte. Hoppas att du får sova lite mer framöver. (det brukar ju vara övergående). Vet att det är superjobbigt när man är precis mitt i det. Stor kram Linda

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  18. it seems that Baby Leon will become a big boy! My son was exactly like him and nothing helped, until I put him to sleep to his own room. And that was in age of 6 months! So, I didn't practically sleep any night until then. So hard it is, I would try that. Maybe he smells you and just want be close to you. And I would check also tongue or maybe ask midwife to control how you nurse. My son was second child and where my nursing with a our daughter was a dream was it with our son very difficult. It started to work, when I made it just twice per day and he got also something else to eat.

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  19. Newborns are exhausting, that's for sure! I was in the camp that didn't bring my babies into my bed. When I nursed, I got up and sat in the rocking chair. They slept in a bassinet until about 6 wks old then I moved them into their crib. Sometimes, to encourage the pacifier, I would pop it in their mouth and hold them against my bosom to keep it in while I rocked them to sleep. This way they felt close to me and learned not to fall asleep at the breast. Also, if they did fall asleep at breast, I would wake them up so they were off my breast when they fell asleep. I admit to cheating a bit with formula at night so their tummies would be full. I would go to sleep around 9 and my husband gave them the last bottle at 11 & we prayed they would sleep until 2. At least I could get some sleep before then. Good luck!!!
    Angela

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  20. I am a mother of 3 and grandmother of 3. Leon's behaviour is seen often in young babies. Try to rest as much as you can during the day and find a comfortable and safe way to sleep with him at night. He might sleep a little at night on Daddy's chest? I think the newborn period was the time in my whole life I felt most tired. As other comments above....trust your own judgement and get through the best way you can. In a few months everything will change again! Very best wishes to you and your family from far away Australia. Grandma (of Caitlin, Rory and Molly)

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  21. I am a mother of 3 and grandmother of 3. Leon's behaviour is often seen in young babies. Try to get some rest during the day, even a quick nap. Try to find a comfortable and safe way to sleep with Leon at night. He might sleep a little at night on Daddy's chest? I know that the newborn period with my babies was the time in my whole life I felt most tired! In a few months everything will change again! Best wishes to you and your family from far away Australia. "Grandma" (of Caitlin, Rory and Molly)

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  22. Hi Stina
    Both my boys were like this.
    The only thing that I found to help is if we could keep them awake in 'the witching hours' between 4 and 7pm, when they are tiny it is so hard to do though. But if you can the night sleeping does improve. A really long bath time period starting from 6 helps but the difficult bit, when you are exhausted too, is keeping them awake from 4-6.

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  23. Stina -as others have said - very normal. However, I found that if my husband put my babies in a sling and walked with them, they often got as much comfort as with the breast....

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  24. Hej stina försök o ge din lilla son lite välling för nyfödda och
    bröstmjölk..be sedan din man lägga sin tshirt han haft på sig
    I din sons säng då den e kroppsvarm tror han att han ligget
    På sin pappa o sängen e ej kall utan kroppsvarm o luktar
    Pappa.så gjorde vi o barnen sov .

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  25. Då sover han o e mätt och tror han ligger på pappa.går
    Lika bra med en kroppsvarm tröja från dig med.lycka till
    Kram Eva

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  26. Kanske har någon redan nämnt detta i ovanstående kommentarer, strunta i min i så fall. Testa att ge en flaska med ersättning (om han godtar det såklart) på kvällen när han är trött. På våra har det fungerat som sömnmedel, mättnaden blir så tung att sömnen blir oundviklig. Men som sagt, bara för att det fungerade för oss.... Råd är lätta att ge. Hoppas att det lättar. //mor till tre

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  27. Hej Eva här igen vore kul om du skrev sen vad du testade o vilket som fungerar just för din lilla son.
    Hah en bra vecka o hoppas han sover bättre ,
    Kram Eva

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  28. Min son åt en gång i timmen på nätterna sina fyra första månader... Jag har två tips: 1. Hur viktigt och bra det än är att träffa sin man på kvällarna, ta någon kväll i veckan när du går och lägger dig vid 20.00 och låter honom ha den kvällsvakna sonen. När man är redigt trött så kan man ändå somna om efter matningen inför 23.00-läggningen, minns jag det som. 2. This Too Shall Pass-tänket. Hade inte klarat det utan det. En dag i taget.

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  29. Stina, I feel your pain.

    I don't know if you are interested in reading a book that helped me, but if you can find Save Our Sleep by Tizzy Hall, it will change your life.

    Good luck x

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  30. Dear Stina! My experience with my baby boy (now 6 mths) was exactly identical! He just wanted to suck and suck, also in the night, refused pacifier and slept preferably ON me. I read this is very natural, normal: babies need mum's physical proximity to feel safe, lots of sucking ensures the milk supply for the next day. And it did not last forever, maybe a month? Giving alternative milk from bottle at this point might cause your milk supply to reduce! So if you want to fully breast-feed, hang on there, it will get better. I just slept w my baby at my arms, fell asleep with him on the breast so I could sleep longer spell than if the baby would have been in his own crib. This was the ONLY way he stayed content&happy, grew well and does still not take pacifier. I think giving the baby as much breast it needs, is the best gift you can give them.

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