Monday, February 17, 2014

Double trouble

So I might be suffering from severe lack of sleep. Alexis is still up in the night and so is Leon. They end up with me in bed and of course wake up each other while doing so. It feels unrealistically chaotic and the nights have turned into something I hardly look forward to. I know it will change, but sleep is so crucial, I'm the worst of humans when not getting enough.

Anyhow I - This too will pass and when "Googeling" and reading about this sort of problematic toddler sleep, it seems more common then uncommon? Please share with me how it is for you and what you do when your toddler wakes up in the night and don't want to go back to sleep. Do you allow them in your bed? Are you hard on them or just let go for what they want?
Alexis never want to go to sleep either in the evening, but that's another story.

Anyhow II - There so much exciting things going on also. I hope I've manage to answer all of your emails now about meeting up?! Please excuse me if i missed someone, email me again if so. I'm more woozy then ever so I might just have done something foolish out of confusion or tiredness.

The house is slowly but surely starting to look like a home and more and more things are coming together.
I got this good looking baby product delivered the other day. We had my old one, but this one is so much prettier and looks amazing in our kitchen area. It's a new chair from STOKKE, my favourite brand fro children. Even this time they just nailed it. It can be adjusted to sit or lay down and it's soft and very functional. And! So good looking which is important since it stands in the middle of our home!! It can also be put on to a normal eating chair for a toddler so that Leon can be a part of us while eating. How smart?

Talk soon!

17 comments:

  1. The idea of separating infants from the mother at night is a relatively new one in the evolution of man. At this stage sleep MUST be your only priority, if you get sleep all in the same bed just go with it, as he gets older he will naturally stay in his own bed. It is such a short time, just enjoy it, don't beat yourself up about what is the 'right' thing to do.

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    1. I am with you totally the same opinion. Alexis in a new house, in a new room alone....for children makes no sense. One room for all and whenhe is older he can understand it better und than it is funny for him to sleep alone, BECAUSE he is a BIG boy and he can sleep alone, not like his baby-brother.....

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    2. I agree with both of you. Of course we allow our two kids in our bed. I don't see the problem with having them in our bed as they are so small (1 & 2.5 years) Eventually they will sleep in their own room but now - never. We have an extra bed in our master bedroom, we have one 180 cm bed and one 90 cm bed where the 2.5 years old is sleeping. If he wakes up in the middle of the nights he just crawls up in ours. In other words a lot of beds in our bedroom but that's the ways it is now. Sometimes the nights are hard but most times not. The children feel safe and warm, sleep good = happy mother and father. They can sleep in their own rooms when they get older.

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  2. Sleep must be your priority, don't worry what is the 'right' way, anything that gives you rest is good. Mine slept with me for most nights until they were 5 or 6, now I really miss them!

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  3. Hi Stina,

    You need to read a book called Save Our Sleep by Tizzy Hall- it is excellent and really helped me and a lot of people I know.

    On a very few ocasssions I have let my toddler sleep with us but then No one gets a good night's sleep. I wish you luck there is nothing worse than no sleep! x

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    1. Yes, my daughter used this book and the routine worked beautifully for her two little ones. Her babysitter and anyone else who cared for them had to follow the routine as well. It was actually easy looking after the babies because you knew what to do next etc. Plus as grandparents we always knew when to visit! And to be there before the evening bath routine and 7pm bedtime. Good luck - Tonkath
      Tonkath

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  4. Stina, I feel for you about the sleep problem. My girls have all gone thru this and deal with it all differently. Mostly letting the kids sleep with them. I will ask them for particulars and get back to you. I just want to send my support--and know that this stage will pass. Be as kind to yourself as possible. Allegra

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  5. Sleep is cruzial and in retrospect we did the right thing with child number two, but not with child number one.
    At that age, we did not allow them in our bed. No one slept well and even though it seemed like a good idea in the middle of the night to put your child to sleep in your bed it didn't deal with the problem. We decided to do something about it and dedicated a weekend for sleep practice. Starting with the procedure regarding going to bed. Silence, darkness and firmness. No talking after good night.
    Of course you will have to do this over and over again with Alexis, as he is a big boy, but he will finally go to sleep easily. Just decide when you would like him to go to sleep and work with that, put on the PJs, read a story and say good night. Sit outside the room in silence. As for Leon it is basically the same thing. And when he wakes up at night, is he really awake. I think that was the big mistake we did when we disturbed our eldest child in the middle of the night. Our youngest only got a soft hand on her belly and some strokes in her face and went back to sleep and sometimes not even that. She was usually just crying in her sleep and found her own peace.

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  6. Well, children are different and people are different. There is no solution that would work for everybody, right....? But as somebody here quite rightly mentioned, sleep should be your priority. So if it works to bring one of the kids to your bed - just do it. Don't hesitate and don't worry about what others tell you. I am a mother truly blessed with two boys who have always been good sleepers. No waking-up at 5 am, no long and sleepless nights. But, of course, there have been harder periods as well. My younger son is now 4.5 years old and we've had ups and downs also. Now he has been sleeping in his own bed every night without any problems for a few months, but just before that he had a longer period of waking up every single night and screaming. My husband even wanted one of us to go to his room and try to put him to bed again instead of bringing him to our bedroom. But that only resulted in us being extremely tired later on. So we gave up and let him come to our bedroom in the middle of the night. But now it has changed, very smoothly and without any problems. And this is what you should keep in mind - they grow up and change. Every single day. So even if it becomes tough - it is just temporary. But you have to sleep, so just find a solution that works, even if it involves somebody sleeping on the carpet....;-)

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  7. I think how a 2-3 year old sleeps depends alot on routines set when they are alot younger. Changing a behaviour at that age is hard and will not come without a "fight", I think you will all sleep better in your own beds but the question is wheter its worth fighting for right now, with the move and everything. If you get enough sleep sharing a bed perhaps do that until you feel you have the energy to deal with changing that?

    But I recomend just firm och consistent but at the same time beeing observant of your childs needs. I think a mother (or a father) can tell if the childs wants to sleep with them because he or she feels insecure and scared or if its just a habbit or something the want. We let our dougheter sleep with us if we feel she needs to (if she is sick or we are on vacation or something) but not just because she wants to. We all sleep better when she stays in her own bed.

    This is something we started with already at an elarly age so she has slept 9 out of 10 nights in her own bed from when she was maybe 8 months. But we also never let her cry her self to sleep or something like that! I think that will give the feeling that going to bed and sleeping is something scary that they will want to avoid. If she cries or calls for us after having gone to bed we will go to her and deal with what ever is the matter in her room, until she falls a sleep again. Maybe its the going to bed part that sets the tone for the night? Going to bed should be fun and not a punishment.

    I also think this will be helpt when he starts kindergarten - he will get more fysically tired :)

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  8. I think everybody should do what keeps them sane. Co-sleeping made me crazy with lack of sleep! At Alexis' age, when my daughter was testing her boundaries, I did the re-return. So basically settled them to bed and every time they get out, keep gently returning them to bed with no talking and minimal eye contact, despite any protestations. Never took longer than 40mins per night for 3 nights. It can be distressing for you but by that age they are upset and angry with you, not that sort of distressed little baby cry. My youngest is Leon's age and sleeps OK but I also resettle with minimal contact in her cot always at night. I feel I'm a bit of a stickler for routine sometimes but I see how well my 4.5 year old sleeps now and it was worth some tough love for me. Good luck!

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  9. Vilket märke har du på din tjusiga klocka? Tacksam för svar. Vänligen, Ann

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  10. Har bara skummat igenom inläggen ovan och såg ingen som skrivit om vad barnen äter innan sänggåendet. Har du kollat innehållet i vällingen. För mycket socker innan man går och lägger sig gör väl alla klarvakna och aktiva oavsett vilken ålder man är i. Läste om föräldrar som åt LCHF och gjorde egen välling till barnen och barnen sov som små stockar. Väl värt att kolla kanske. Ett annat förslag till alla som är intresserade av hälsa och att hålla sig frisk. Läs Sanna Ehdins "Den självläkande människan". En gammal bok som kommer ut i uppdaterad nytryck nu i dagarna.
    Mvh Christina

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  11. Couldn't agree more with the Crafty Domino above. Need to do what works for you, absolutely, but co-sleeping or having my daughter (3 years old now) drives me CRAZY because of no sleep -- and used a very similar method to get my daughter to stay in her bed. It is harder at the moment to put her back to bed (tired, cold and seems easier to just let her go to sleep in my bed), but the time spent putting her in her place means better sleep for me once I get back into my bed without a kid moving, kicking, etc., although all the sleepingthings little ones do can be very sweet, they also contribute to a sleepless night and complete exhaustion.

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  12. I know with my little boy I needed a routine around sleep as much as he did. We used the Tizzy Hall book to. It would be so worthwhile esp with Leon at his age. Even now (at 20 months) my mum friends will still talk about 'what would Tizzy do!' Although its tough we did do controlled crying it only takes about three nights and each one gets progressively easier. Then they learn to self settle. Good luck nothing worse than bad night and bad night.....

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  13. May I ask if you give some milk to Alexis in nighttime? Don´t give him anything but water from a mug if he is thirsty. Trust me. It might take few nights and lot of crying to him to realise that water is what he will get and that is not a good reason for him to get up. Little-Leon of course might need some milk in nighttime. Again, trust me, I´v been there. I know it´s very hard to be strong when you are tired, specially in the nighttime, but this is worth to try.

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  14. Jeg sender deg all min sympati! Her ender barna alltid opp i sengen sammen med meg... Jeg har tvillingjenter på 2 år. Orker bare ikke ta den kampen på natta...dette fordi jeg er så sliten etter det harde arbeidet på dagtid (både på jobb og med barn og husarbeid). Derfor velger jeg enkleste utvei, som er å la jentene få sove sammen med meg. Ofte har jeg bare 20 cm plass i sengen, og søvnen er naturligvis ofte svært redusert! Jeg synes denne småbarnstiden er veldig tøff, og føler meg ikke lenger som meg selv. Har ikke energi til å ivareta meg selv... Men håper jo at dette blir bedre ettersom jentene vokser til.
    Takk for at du er så ærlig! Setter stor pris på din blogg!
    Hilsen Hanne, Norge

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