Friday, February 14, 2014

Valentine style

It was two extremely exhausted parents who had a lunch date in the city today. Our oldest is awake about three times per night and don't want to fall back to sleep ... No explanation further I guess. It can take the best out of anyone to have to struggle with a persistent toddler at 2am, 4am and 5.30am ...

At the moment I just feel like I just cant take being home with both children anymore. It's too intense, too much chaos, too much whining and I feel like I can't give any of them enough. All I do all day long is saying "No Alexis, don't touch Alexis, leave it back Alexis, stop it Alexis" ... and Leon is crying as soon as I put him down from my arms. I'm just very, very tired and feel like everything I want to do, is such a mission. Just getting two small children food, changing diapers, folding the pram, getting them out in the car, putting them both in the car seat with the winter clothes etc ... It takes so much energy. Which I absolutely don't have at the moment.

Anyhow. Happy Valentines day everyone and talk soon again!

(vest: Zara, sweater: MaxMara, shawls: here, boots: Rizzo & bag: Hermès Kelly)

39 comments:

  1. Hi, Stina! I have just recently come upon your blog, and I would like to say "hallo" and let you know how much I appreciate your sincere, open, elegant and inspiring way of writing! This blog combines many of my own interests in one - fashion, interior, kids and photography, along with lots of great food! It is definitely a blog i will be following on. Personally I have two little kids of my own, a 2 and a half year old boy and a 1 year old baby girl. So, you gotta believe I am one of your readers who absolutely understands what you are talking about, when it comes to hectic daily schedules, kids and trying to keep your relationship and personal interests all together. But it all has its own special meaning and it's absolutely amazing how things can click together. So once more, keep the great posts coming and wish you all the best. Your posts are really inspirational! have a great Valentine's evening!

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    1. Absolutely! Thank you for sharing!

      Best,
      stina

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  2. Motherhood has its ups and down but it will get better.Keep the good work up Stina!

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  3. Hi Stina

    Do not feel stupid because you feel like you do.
    My two youngest were born 20 months apart (the youngest was a very unplanned "whoops") and it is SUPERDUPER distressing indeed to have two closely-born. I have never been so tired in my entire life, never so ugly and ever so boring. But I try to keep up appearances, it just gets better and better the older they get. Maybe A would like to go a few hours at daycare? Playing with some friends, eat lunch and nap. So that you can dedicate yourself to L and above all to take care of yourself a little and relax.

    Have a great weekend and all the power to you!

    BIG hug from Elin

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    1. Yes, then you for sure DO understand!

      Alexis will hopefully start daycare in mid - Mars! Can't wait!

      All the best to you!
      Stina

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  4. Stina, mums are flipping rockstars! I don't think I could ever do it, I wouldn't have the patience, I'm thinking about a puppy but not even sure I could get through the early stages with a furry cutie.
    Will your nanny be starlings soon? That should give you a break.

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    1. that should be starting soon, of course.

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    2. Yes Tabitha, I'll sign on that mum's are fucking rockstars! When I see a mother on the street, I'm almost willing to give her a hug then and there - becasue I know what she is dealing with!

      We will have a lady (hopefully, they're on the Visa now) coming to us in Mars-April and she will stay at our place and work a couple of hours every day and have two full days off per week. That will hopefully be very good!

      Hugs,
      stina

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  5. Stina I've been there and I know you are tired in your bones, but it is also so frazzling to have to keep up the patience without ever having a break, my older two have the same age difference as your little guys, it does get easier. Oh gosh I hope Alexis starts sleeping through the night soon, he's had some changes with the move, all very exciting but it may take him awhile to calm down.
    Any help you can get would be great, maybe your lovely Mum would come around this weekend?
    Take care Stina!

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    1. My parents, especially my mother is amazing and Alexis LOVEs her and talkes about her all the time and as soon as he is sad, he cries for "mormor". She is also working, but they come as often as they can.

      And yes, the big changes in his life is for sure what's affecting his sleep.

      Best,
      stina

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  6. Hang in there, life will become quite civilised in a few years time. Mine are now boy 11 and girl 10 and they're so independent and so easy. Those first few years were a nightmare and I actually think my body has blocked out the memories. I do remember long, long days and the desperation of trying to get their day time sleeps aligned...for a moment of peace. maybe to watch Oprah! If I had my time again I might not try and control the whole day so much, just go with it, try and get more giggles out of the kids. My local gym had great child minding. I remember checking the kids in and then going into the actual gym and walking at a slow pace on the treadmill and watching the TVs! It is OK for feel how you do because for most of us it is the reality of home life with little ones. Meg in Brisbane

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  7. You speak right Off my mind! My Kids are the Same Age as yours and Feel absolutely the Same! Sometimes I ASK myself how others do it! So thank you for your words! Now I know that I am Not the only One going through this. It helps a Little!

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    1. I ask the same questions, "really, how do people manage? Especially with more then two kids"???

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  8. Så, inga råd..,men väl en uppmuntran. Jag har tre kids, det enda som får mig att inte drivas över vansinnets brant är vetskapen om att allt alltid är i konstant förändring. Om vi är i en riktigt rutten period (mina är 7, 3 1/2 och 10 månader) så vet jag att det går över och orkar oftast därför lite mer,,,,som de sista dagarna innan semestern tar vid, då man orkar bara för att man vet att det snart kommer vila. Det funkar omvänt också. Om det är baby-bliss, harmoni och friska barn kan man ge sig 17 på att det också snart förändras så därför gäller det att passa på att njuta. Håll ut medsyster, snart lättar det.

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  9. Alexis must go to the kindergarden.It is boring for him to stay home.

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    1. For sure it is!!! We're on it! Read my answer above!

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  10. Even during this tiring times you look beautiful with your original boots.
    Everything will be ok when house etc finished and
    Alexis calm dowm it's all the changes may be. Hang it dear Stina.
    Hugs
    Uta

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  11. Dear Stina,
    It's just a phase and will pass all too soon. Be glad you have two healthy little boys even though it's tiring. Maybe your parents could have Alexis for a sleepover? We have our grandchildren now and then to give our daughter and S.I.L. a break. We don't care if we are woken in the night because we just love having them around and helping out. They are cute even in the night/early morning if you are not doing it all the time like the parents. Take care. Kate

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    Replies
    1. That's soo kind of you and yes, my parents have promised to have him over for a night very soon!

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  12. I only have one child and I find it absolutely exhausting. For me, going back to work full time was the best thing ever - we have an amazing full time nanny who is much more creative, energetic than me... And my son loves her so much. I find I am
    More energetic after work once I have had some adult time - I feel like I can just focus on playing and giving him much more undivided attention... Still, I don't look nearly as glam as you do :)))) maya x

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    1. That sounds marvellous Maya! I'm happy you fond such a lovely solution for you!

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  13. You look stunning!

    I have move many times with two small kids from country to the other. Every time I have had some kind of help. (My husband takes care about that I don't have to manage alone because he have start to work immediately and he does often ten hour days. Mostly he send his parents which are more then fine to stay in nice hotel near us anywhere in the world and take kids there with them (that is what most Mid-European grannies are ready to do, they actually really wait for it, you just have to ask), sometimes I get paid help)That's a benefit when your husband earns enough much to take care about it that he can work without a worry and you don't get too much responsibility to take care about everything else. You have to take care that you have enough help because otherwise toll comes some day. You think that you survive like any northern woman but there is a limit for everybody.

    Sorry a straight talk but this time I think you have take too much to your shoulders. It's not going to be so much easier with two busy and furious kids even then when the house is ready. Specially if your husband is working a lot which I assume he do. You may even notice that you actually want to work and put your kids to daycare like women is Zurich are doing. Only that Northern Europe don't so much help with smooth motherhood while working and don't make it easy for part time working neither financially or flexibility. All the best for you!

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    1. Thank you very much for this comment!

      Help is on it's way. Alexis will hopefully start kindergarden i mid Mars and we'll have a lady staying at our house helping a couple of hours five days a week!

      But you are true, northern women have a harder time asking for paid help then the rest, something I've learned when living abroad. Also, I'm not at all ashamed to ask for more help now then I did before, because I realise I need it to actually maintain sane!

      Best,
      stina

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  14. Love your outfit!

    Stina, I admire you for being at home for such a long time with your boys. I was home for 10 months with my son and I was very happy with my 10 month maternity leave, I was ready to go out again. I think Alexis would love the stimulation in a kindergarten.

    Hope things become a little bit more smooth once the caos calmes down.

    - Astridur

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    1. Thank you!

      For sure, it's on its way!!!!

      Hugs,
      stina

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  15. First of all, you do a great job. Having a baby and a toddler at the same time is never easy. I for myself "only" have a toddler at home, but we also have hard times and - it get's better! Look forward for all the fun times and get yourself some free time once in a while. PS. HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

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  16. Seems like you all are pretty much affected by this big move. It will calm down soon enough, but oh boy I don't envy you this. Hopefully it will be better soon Stina :) Have a nice Sunday!

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    1. Thank you!!! Yes, we all are very affected for sure!

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  17. Åh, jag känner igen mig! Mina två pojkar är nästan exakt lika gamla som dina. Den lille är också så, att han börjar skrika så fort jag lägger honom ifrån mig. Och den stora får jag tjata ihjäl mig på (hur många gånger om dagen säger man "nej" liksom?)
    Som du säger, det tar mycket tid och mycket energi och när man inte får sova så tär det på en. Min stora sover iofs oftast bra men den lille vaknar väldigt många gånger varje natt.
    Jag kan verkligen rekommendera en bärsjal så man kan bära omkring lillen inomhus så slipper man sitta fast.
    Sedan tröstar jag mig med att det snaaart blir lättare när det känns tungt! De är ju små så kort stund egentligen…
    De små ger ju en så mycket men tar samtidigt otroligt mycket energi! Hoppas att du har möjlighet att få lite avlastning och kämpa på!
    Styrkekramar

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    1. Thank you Petra, yes then you understand for sure! I know it gets better and I love them to death, but when they don't sleep, and we've done the big move and all .. Well, I have no supplements left!

      Best,
      stina

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  18. The combination of red and grey is gorgeous!
    I really love your style!
    Love, Elisa

    www.youcausemetrouble.blogspot.com

    <3

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  19. Yes, two small children can be challenging. Children go through stages and these can be somewhat difficult. There is a reason reference is made to "terrible 2's." Change for children adds adjustment for them and this can bring some stress. For you, the move, renovating, decorating and seeking local friends and this adds more challenge. Multiple changes for everyone.

    New friends will help and you seem to have this underway. You are a great friend so this should not be difficult. Friends will come soon, I predict.

    Alexis might benefit from a friend or two as well or possibly an early childhood school where he can engage with peers and interact with teachers. Also now that you are near your parents, maybe Alexis could spend some time with them too? One-on-one with grandparents is always good for small children.

    As my mother always told me during times of difficulty... "this too will pass." Hold that thought.
    Thinking of you, Susan

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  20. Oh, I feel for you. Been there, done that. The prolonged lack of sleep is enough to drive the most patient person nuts. It's hard to perform even the simplest task when you're exhausted. I have friends who have kids late tell me that they had NO idea what exhaustion meant until they have their own babies. I used to do back to back night/early shifts and even that is nothing in comparison to the sleep deprivation and dealing with the constant attention a baby/toddler needs. This, will one day come to pass.

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  21. Jag minns när jag läste din blogg och du inte kunde få barn med din tidigare ex man. Jag minns jag skrev till dig när du träffar rätt person som är meant to be så kommer det hända :) och efter ha kikat in i din blogg då och då så stämde det ju :) hoppas du är lycklig och njuter av livet. P.s jag som är super nojig med min sömn skulle aldrig greja att ha barn, ska för övrigt ändå inte ha barn passande nog men ändå, all den tid och kraft är verkligen otrolig. :) kramar!

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