Saturday, March 1, 2014

Friday evening

I surprised my man yesterday evening with cocktails, dinner and a classic "going out" night. We meet up with one of our favourite couple here in Stockholm and had a blast with them. The rule was, since they also have two small children - not to talk about kids or family life.
We dressed up and took a taxi in to the city. But oh Lord, what a depressing thing to "go out" in Stockholm. It's even worse then when I still did go out in the weekends, long before I meet M. Stockholm is pathetic in this sense, I know it's sounds harsh but seldom do you see so much sad people, all dressed the same, with this sort of desperate hunting, too tipsy, too boring and let's not even mention the sad, sad atmosphere. No one seems to have fun, it's more about prove some sort of proud point of ones existence with jealous eyes looking at each other rather then give away a smile. It's such a difference vibe from, let's say, the more southern European cities and I remembered why I stopped going out in Stockholm and only went out when being abroad.

Yesterday I witnessed that It's not even the same as I recall it - it's worse! I was more happy to have a family and to have my well dressed, gorgeous, international man then ever! I truly felt like we were so wrong among this crowd. Sorry Stockholm's night life, but you wont see much of me out there! I'll rather spend my money on a trip and enjoy the social, fun and more life loving surrounding - breathing an open minded, international feeling elsewhere or simply just arrange lovely dining and wining at our own and friends place!

It truly don't feel like people is getting out to have a fun time. It feels like a charade, a show off in up nose attitudes (I guess they are so insecure and don't really like it either and this appearance is just the easiest to put on) and when I complain about how people dress, it's to say that either they dress like all young bloggers our there with a lot of latest trends (but who cares when everyone adapts them clonal?) or to "naked/sexual" at a too old age (I love a mix of ages, but more when you respect yourself and have a more sophisticated sensualism then just getting your decollate in someones face, that stands for all ages by the way) or just don't care at all. I also feel like people are afraid to stand out, be personal and embrace the variety and to make an effort to the ambiance.

For me, and again this is my blog and my personal opinions, I get drastically tired and bored of a view like that. I love being outside Sweden for that fact, where I find people indulge more in vivid styles, elegance, true fashion, colours, to who they are, with great personalities not seldom packed in a yet so personal and unique style, either you go for elegance, bohemian, classic or I don't know what.
I would chose odd and different any minute over boring, clonal and doll.

Ps: ... and to write a small conclusion: I would actually totally accept all ways of dressing, if people where social, well behaved, interesting, polite, respectful, fun and looked like they had all the fun in the world and spread the love around. Ds

76 comments:

  1. Totally agree with you Stina! It's very, very sad though, specially when you have out of town/country visitors that wants to experience the night life in Stockholm. And that constant jealousy of people...must be the Lutheranian legacy.

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  2. Hola,

    What do you mean with them being jealous? I live in Madrid (I am from Stockholm myself though) and I haven't been in Stockholm since...hm, 2010 (?) when I was there on vacation. And are they really horrible dressed or is it just you being so into fashion having your own style that think they can't dress? I have no idea, I'm not into fashion myself and have no clue about dressing. I'm just being courious since people in Stockholm or Scandinavians usually have a good reputation abroud for being well dressed or very "cool"....or at least that is what I've heard.
    What I do know about the differences in going out in Stockholm or in Madrid is that in Stockholm people don't mix ages. Which is something I don't like at all. It is a much more relaxed atmossphere in Madrid when going out and you never feel too old or out of place here that you might do in Stockholm when you end up in a place where most of the people are a little bit over 25. I think that in Stockholm that is one of the mistakes they do there, this whole thing with putting so much importance on age. What do you think about that? Perhaps it has changed now?

    Saludos (best regards) from Madrid,
    La Madrileña (Marina)

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    1. Absolutely, the laid back, fun, easy going, socially flirty atmosphere and different ages just wanting to have fun - is far more tempting that what Stockholm has to offer!

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  3. Too bad! : /

    /Lydia

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  4. LOVE your outfit btw!

    /Lydia

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  5. Hi Stina,

    Your story reminded me, how I feel about and see the night life or even the daily life here in Southern Finland. So, you might as well have written about my town. I don't know anyone personally in Sweden, but I can feel that our two countries must share something similar.

    Because we live in this part of the northern world with its dark winters and rainy spring, with certain kind of food, certain kinds of clothes, and certain traditions, some of us feel the pressure. Some feel they need to live in a certain way.

    Then they end up looking the same, thinking the same things and, ultimately, feeling jealous toward anyone who dares to fight back. In doing this they are losing what is making them unique. I personally stay away from this kind of negativity, and just stay true to myself and the life we have created in our home, together with my husband.

    I like you Stina, because you say the words that some of us feel, but are too afraid to say out loud, in public.

    With all the best and positive thoughts on this wonderful Saturday.

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    1. I think it might just be that many of the northern countries are the same!

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    2. NK, I like what you wrote and I completely agree with you. Being a fellow Scandinavian, I feel that we are in some way so narrow minded when someone wants to do something different, dress different or spend their money on nice things. I believe, in some ways, that we are afraid of what is unknown or what we don't understand. I think that we are sometimes afraid to stick out from the crowd, and since all the Scandinavian countries are so "small", we feel the need to go with the flow.

      I really loved the words you wrote; "I like you Stina, because you say the words that some of us feel, but are too afraid to say out loud, in public." I feel the same and Stina, I have to give so much credit to you for putting yourself out there with this blog! I have enjoyed your blog posts for quite some time now and you always write so interesting and inspiring. Thank you for taking the time to write this blog!

      Tarand

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  6. After living six years in Spain, I can just sadly agree with you. This was my conclusion also when I came back to Stockholm. But as you say, rather than spending time being irritatated about that, I create my own social gatherings or join in on friend´s! And of course - keep traveling... :)

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  7. you look great, it is a shame when you make an effort and are treated badly because of it. i've always thought it rude to go to a nice restaurant and not bother, it insults the establishment and the other guests. I love St Tropez as everyone 'dresses' all the time, it's almost an obligation. i live half in oxford and half in london, we never go out in oxford other than to people's houses, as it is the same, a bit of a waste of time, the people all wear jeans, t shirts and trainers. And for me half of 'going out' is the people watching, so I would rather save my money for London. I am fascinated by the psyche too, in London we dress up and always talk to new people, everyone is in the party mood and keen to communicate, but when everyone looks laid back and careless, they are actually far less likely to be friendly and interesting, which is perhaps the opposite of what you might think.

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    1. Thank you!

      We were not treated badly, but I just stood and witnessed the atmosphere around us and It felt so depressing. No one seemed to have fun!

      But I'm more into what you're saying, I love when people are making an effort in dressing up, no matter what style they have!

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  8. I'm reading these comments with great interest. I have found the same behaviour in a number of countries I have lived in, different cities/countries to all the ones that have been mentioned here though. Can I be so bold to say that I don't believe it is so place specific as perhaps class specific?

    There is a certain way of thinking, which of course extends to visible cues such as how one dresses, which is universal when you live an international life exposed to a higher quality of living. In some places there are more of these people such as where I live because cities like London or in your case Zurich attract like-minded people from around the world. You have grown and changed so much over the last few years, you see things now that you never noticed before.

    That's just my take on it. I look forward to reading everyone else's thoughts!

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    1. Lauren, I think you nailed it, it's the same here too.

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    2. How do you define 'higher quality of living' and what makes your definition the right one?

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    3. Lauren - I think you are spot on!

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  9. Well it is same in Finland!!!

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  10. What a pity this night life in Stockholm you were so beautiful with your combo and did not look at all tired. Your love should have been impressed.
    But you never talked about that before, when living in Stockholm, may be it is still you have been living in ZH. ?
    You need to live in Paris, NY or London Stina.
    Hugs
    Uta

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    1. Uta,

      We were not badly treated, just the feeling i got from the atmosphere and honestly, neither the food or the places are worth mentioning. I longed for all places you just mentioned and hope to live there when the kids are older!

      Hug,
      stina

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  11. Well, that's why I only go out when I'm abroad. I love going out in London and Paris.
    People are always so nice, polite and happy and it's always a mix of ages.
    We are unfortunately to fixated about age here in Sweden.
    /H

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  12. Gamla stan is the only place were people are happy and polite but they are all tourists.
    I love going there to watch all the stylish Italians and French people :-)

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    1. I've heard that before!!! And, some really nice restaurants seems to have opened over there! Might need to hear around and check them out!

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    2. And my husband got robbed in Gamla Stan on Saturday afternoon, so there's definitely an international "vibe" there ;-)
      /H

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  13. Kan det också bero på var du går i Stockholm? Jag går gärna till barer med vänner och dricker drinkar snarare än att jag går ut och dansar. Vi går då till Hotellet, Gondolen, Ljunggrens, Riche. Generellt är barerna på söder trevligare....

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    1. We were at some of the one you just mentioned, Riche is the devils next if you ask me. Talk about desperate hunting, no service and the most grey crowd on earth!

      But Gondolen might be so full of tourists, I might actually love it! Haven't been there in ages!

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  14. Come to London :-) can't stand Stockholm, totally brand obsessed, boring, cloned individuals. Scary: some of my friends have met one / Two new friends in 10 years. Swedes are not open minded and what make me laugh is that it's so desperately wannabe cosmopolitan. The mindset is totally narrow & most ppl don't go out to meet new people. If u talk to someone people think you are weird / flirting with them...! Maja xx

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    1. I know, this with meeting new people, well it's not possible here and people are not use to it either. Abroad I gained some of my friends by just randomly started talking to them. Not because I was seeking new friends, but because people are social and interesting in each other!

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  15. Totally agree Stina! I have lived in big cities in Asia for 10 years and recently moved back to Scandinavia and this is exactly how I see things. Maybe things here have changed, but living abroad changes you too...

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    1. Asia! Hope to do that thing before the kids start school!

      yes for sure, it changes you!

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  16. You have to be the coolest chick in the blog world!Can't stop laughing...keep speaking your mind it's a sign of intelligence to be able to speak the truth!!

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    1. I'm humble over such a great compliment! Thank you!

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  17. Stina, förstår tyvärr vad du menar. Efter 5 år i NYC så var största fasan med att flytta hem attityden som många svenskar har. Bristen på artighet som vi var så vana vid i New York... Ängsligheten som finns ffa i Stockholm. Men det är bara att försöka föregå med gott exempel själv o hoppas på att ett leende o artigheten förs vidare.
    Hoppas du kommer trivas i Täby!

    Hälsningar
    Sara

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  18. Håller med Stina, uteställena runt Stureplan och Östermalm är fulla av ängsliga personer som alla ser likadana ut. Därför skulle jag aldrig sätta min fot där. Jag går på hotellbarer eller barer ex Riche, Rival, Gondolen, Bishop Arms, käkar på Tabboleh, Texas, Indiskt, Tapas etc. Folk på dessa ställen är i regel trevligare och har kul!!! Jag förstår om du är van med mer exklusiva ställen, men ge dessa en chans så tror jag att du märker att det finns ok ställen här med. :)

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    1. Second time someone mentioned Gondolen, had no idea there was other people then just old business guys hanging over there! Riche I can't stand, once and for all I felt that!

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  19. Hej Stina! Håll dej undan nervösa östermalm o stureplan, så är jag säker på att du hittar andra vänligare delar av stan att roa dig i! Kolla runt Drottninggatsbacken/Tegnergatan, tror det funkar för dej! Kram AnnaN

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  20. Det är inte Stockholm som ändrats, det är du. Stockholms innerstad har alltid varit en vulgärt homogen, introvert gryta av egenkär yta.

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    1. Håller med! Också det att du nu har barn o familj ändrar på ens synsätt på allt detta.

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    2. Somliga behöver inte barn och familj för att förstå faktumet.

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  21. Hi Stina! Nice outfit! Do you really wear such haf-open shoes now that it's so cold...? Anyway, I have the same opinion about Stockholm and Sweden in general. I also work in a pretty international environment and being myself a foreigner, I just too often feel dressed-up. I find Swedes, and particuralry women, so dramatically casual....Even when there is a good occassion to take care of their outfits, many people just don't care at all. Or look all the same. So I can imagine that you, with your absolutely glamorous lifestyle, must be feeling like an allien. Even though it's your country.

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    1. Dear Marta,

      Yes I wore those open shoes since we hardly went outside but went around by taxi.

      I think people are afraid to to what they feel like for the reason that they care too much about what everything would think and say.

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  22. Oh my God, it's like you've taken the words out of my mouth!!! Couldn't agree with you more!! This is SO ON POINT!! And actually one of the things that makes me not want to move back to Sweden, not that I would go out every weekend if we did move back, but to know that if I wanted to this is what I would experience, and that just makes me depressed! I just feel so sorry for these people, not in a demeaning way and not that I think that I am better, but due to the fact that if only they would dare to change and be them selves, instead of these narrow minded, jealous "clones",they would be so much happier and the entire atmosphere of the city would change!!! Any how, love the outfit combo,and can't wait to see more pics of your "newly decorated" house once you are done with it!
    /B

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    1. AMEN! Exactly my point! I don't feel like I'm in any way better, I just feel like I've got the experience of getting more out of life and then, when seeing how sad people were looking, you just want to shake them around and say " there's another way to go out and have fun" A Way where you embrace life and take advantage of the people around yourself.

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  23. Intressant läsning, mycket bra text. Vad säger M om detta, antar att han tycker precis som du skriver? Jag bor på landet och kan i get om detta;) Här umgås vi mer hemma,i alla åldrar, och har alltid roligt:) Kram

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    1. Yes he felt the same. Now he is not the biggest fan of going out anyhow if it's not some sort of private party going on, but we longed for our absolutely totally crazy and fun days south!

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  24. I 've never been in Stockholm, but in Germany you can also notice the same things you describe so vividly. But like you, bad and jealous behavior disturb me more than the fact that many people don't care about their clothing . I cannot understand this. I feel so much better when I am nice dressed, with a good haircut, make-up, etc. But anyhow, everyone wears a kind of uniform also on special occasions, don't you think so? Every year, for example, I am invented to parties, organized by a close friend of mine. I am looking forward to it, because the people who participate are not only prosperous and handsome, but also very nice, interesting and well- educated. But every woman wears couture, jewellery, designer handbags. So I take my uniform, Chanel or hermes handbag, every time a new dress, etc to go with this environment When I am at home, I am more low-key. In my neighbbourhood there are for example two women doctors, both married, mothers, intelligent. But they are horribly dressed. Day by day I see them in old jeans and T-shirts, and honestly, their hair is only hair, and it seems that they have never heard that a woman can do more than taking a shower every morning and brush their teeth... ;-)
    Take care, dear Stina, and enjoy your family and friends! Hugs B. ( from Germany)

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  25. Underbar outfit och vad kul att du överraskade mannen :) . Men gud så trist, det du skriver. Går sällan ut i Stockholm så jag kan inte säga nåt om det. Men herre gud liksom, slappna av alla svenskar ;) .

    Hoppas du har en härlig helg med familjen. Kram Linda

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  26. Dear Stina, I couldn´t agree with you more. However I think that there are clones everywhere in every gatherings because humans are like animals, they want to"stay together" in the flock.. I wonder, if someone could show up to one of the gatherings you are used to with a nice smile, friendly attitude but without couture, expensive jewelry and a nice hand bag? I don't´t think so.. :) , on Östermalm people dress in one way, on Söder in an other way, in New York the hipster trend is big, you see everywhere there are trendsetters and then the large crowd following. I also think this behavior
    is a significant for the middle class behavior, they are since decades the class striving up, trying to get a better life. The upper class who is at the top already don´t have the same anxiety behavior for obvious reasons. The middle class has always wanted a better life, before they fought for better wages now when life is better, clothes etc is what you can see this behavior on.. The thing that many people i Sweden often tend to not dress up, but walk around in sloppy jeans is something else, it´s sad but I think every country has something you are not too proud of.. :) Take care!

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    1. The top for some is the bottom for others..

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    2. Very well said, I thank you nailed in this comment! Thank you

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  27. There's a psycho-sociological factor here. In the countries like Sweden, Holland or Great Britain women are usually more independent of getting a man than they are in, let's say, Eastern Europe. It's, then, natural that more independent women may not feel the same need to look good. There are sociological studies proving this and it's so sad! Unfortunately, it seems that it's boil down to biology and laws of Nature! And together with their independent status some women lost their feminine side. Furthermore, I know many women in Sweden who are so brainwashed that they believe it'd be humiliating to wear high heels or short skirt, that they'd not be taken seriously for that reason. So this equality-question has acquired most bizzare forms and, sadly enough, women just accept this. And think they've gained some freedom....

    Then there are, of course, also culture-related factors. In Sweden modesty is the thing. You should't show off or think you're better. And this translates into how society dresses in general. But people here are just ordinary humans and hence the jealousy of those who dare to stick out. Sad but true. So even though this discussion has a very complex background, both you, Stina, and also many of your Readers have made really good points here.

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    1. Women need to accept since it's women that have asked for it.

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  28. Hej Stina! Oh, what a lfashback that gave. One that I do NOT miss at all.This being one of the reasons I haven't yet taken my little family and moved back. I'm afraid that my man will discover what swedes are really like haha. I think most swedes move back when we have kids. There is no country to compare when it comes to family life, security both practically and financially. Sweden is built around family life, which is fantastic! There's day care and schools, public ones that are on the same level as private ones abroad, There's free medical and dental care for all children. The clean air, the green surroundings and Allemansrätten. And no one will question you, or your man for that matter, if you stay home with a sick child. Or you leave early from a meeting to pick up your kids. So I think the only way to "survive" living in Sweden is to think about the gift you are giving your children. And that airplanes leave the country every day, so you can just get on one when the cravings get to big. :) /Catharina
    Ps. Kolla din Facebook om ni vill ha en playdejt nästa vecka. Kram!

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  29. I think that this actual jealousy about people well dressed, nice cars, nice all is coming from the huge social difference if money that is actually everywhere. Rich with the rich and others with others in each town in thw world. Life becomes vety difficult for most of people in Europe and now there is not a muddle class as before. And if course when too well dressed etc etc create this envy. I leave in Switzerland and they all look at me like 'a rich person' because wrll dressed, living well, travelling etc.
    Now we can fee too much the difference. Unfortunately, we will not change our fashion of life to please to the less of people we have less. We are just be careful not to show too much following we go. And even that.... They smell the difference... It"s everywhere the same thing Stina, as soon as you have more jealousy is palpable. And i will not improve I think.
    Hugs and continue to be as you arr

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  30. I live in Stockholm and I hardly never go out here anymore. But when I´m abroad I like going out for dinners and drinks. When I go out in France, Italy, Dubai or London, I find people being much more social,inviting and outgoing. They go out to have fun with more pepole than just their own friends. I miss that in Stockholm. Here you only talk to the friend in your group.
    I guess that´s why the only times I met relly nice, well behaved and social men, they always turned out to be weekend tourists from Southern Europé, UK or the US. Haha!
    My recommendation to you (not knowing where you guys where at last Friday) is to choose bars and restaurants outside of Stureplan.
    Enjoy your Sunday!

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  31. Well I've only been to Stockholm three times so I saw it from a tourist perspective, I felt depressed at night but that's because everyone was so beautiful, where we went , everyone was really glamourous.

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  32. Agree totally. May have to move back to Stockholm for career reasons, but it truly scares me and in my heart I do not really want to go back.

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  33. Fascinating comments. But Stina remember, fashion and clothes are not just for the young. I'm almost 42 and don't like the idea that I have a use by date..Love your blog as usual and love the leopard jacket x

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  34. Someone wrote that you have changed but its not true. I'm 40 years old and my mother grew up in Stockholm. I remember when I was a teenager how polite and friendly people were. I don't really know
    what happened, why are people so rude, slamming the door in your face, never say thank you when you offer to help, never offering you seat for a pregnant women or an older person, never say sorry when they bump into you. It's better in Göteborg, Malmö and the smaller places, wonder why? And when you dress up people look at you like your stupid except older people that always give me compliments. Oh we'll, what to do, move? We been thinking about it for a while now...
    /H

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  35. I hope you were still having some fun:)

    It can be also that when you go out after long time and expectations are too high, reality is not meeting your expectations. Or something:) Luckily nowadays you can get a fast flight almost anywhere you want when you feel like it:)

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  36. I don't know why and what, but you are looking so different at this photo...do you have anything done with your face and lips?

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  37. Hello Stina,

    We were thinking that we were in a very small group of people (the two of us, actually) who felt that everyone and everything was becoming more and more homogeneous and dull but, now we find that at least there is one more, you, who also believes this to be true. Of course, the encouragement to be a sheep and follow the crowd in every way possible is all around from advertising, television, magazines etc. etc. so to be an individual does take courage.

    We do believe that there is no dress rehearsal for Life and so one must live it extraordinarily. We love to dress up (not sure what dressing down would be) and we have a Mad Boy who shares our lives to ensure that things do not become too commonplace. Whatever, Life is never dull and we suspect the same for you too.

    We have found you in the labyrinth of the Blogosphere only to realise that darling Tabitha is here too. what fun! To find us, we are merely a click away. As followers we shall return often.

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  38. Jag håller med. Sista gången jag gick ut igår i Sthlm. Patetiskt, äckligt. Bodde i Zurich i hösten och det är så mkt trevligare. Även dom unga människorna som hetsar och festar är trevligare än dom i sthlm. Annan mentalitet.

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  39. I have been to Stureplan once and will never go out there again. I´m a normal Swedish girl, not over wight, people think I´m cute, but compared to the dolls on Stureplan I felt very ugly and people stared at me and also my style (I went in a maria westerlind-dress)..so nowadays I go to bars outside that area- I have also lived in Malmö for ten years, I think people in Malmö are much nicer in general than here in Stockholm. I also think that many people around Stureplan are very young and therefore scared of not fitting in..like teenagers-nervous with a bad self-esteem.. I love your blog and your honesty. Take care!

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  40. Whaou Stina I cannot believe all what I read! How rude are people in your country and complicate.
    Jealousy is everywhere but Sweden looks very special.... Of course, people look at us when well dressed, pretty, etc. but at this point I never heard that! So good luck and as I read make your group of friends and do not mind!
    Hugs
    Uta

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  41. Du är ju underbar! Så himla rätt! Jag var ute igår och fick precis samma känsla. jag hade hoppats på en glad och energifylld kväll men längtade hem till min lägenhet efter en timme!
    Jag reser mkt hellre utomlands en gång i månaden till någon europeisk stad än lägger pengar på dyra drinkar på en krog.
    Min dröm är att få flytta till Zurich i höst så håll tummarna för mig!
    Tack för att du satte ord på precis det jag känner

    //S

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  42. Greetings Stina- being 60 I've had years to develop perspective on this. I believe in the 80/20 rule as it applies to everything. Most people are average and want to fit in and I think most humans want to take the path of least resistance-hence, jeans/tennis shoes de rigeur. I live in a small town on the Oregon coast. Naturally beautiful but a fashion wasteland. I,ve had to get over the looks I get when I wear black heels to dinner and just know that I'm in the 20 percent of effort and caring.

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  43. Hi Stina,
    It's almost as if you're describing Perth! I used to love going out a lot in the evenings but since moving here that has stopped altogether. For the exact same reasons you stated but halfway around the world instead. I enjoy my evenings now in the comfort of my own home with the people I love or going over to friends. Having said this, I think it is still wonderful to head out with people whose company we enjoy and get along fabulously with, and ignore the negativity from strangers. There is no perfect place as we are an imperfect people. xx, Suzanne.

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  44. Hi Stina,

    I can very much relate to what you are saying, going out on Stureplan is really something weird, often very similar to Reykjavik. I think it's so strange that everyone looks the same because I think at the same time people want to stand out and get noticed. I think people are afraid to stand out, why I the world I don't know.

    Happy monday dear Stina!

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  45. Dear Sitna,

    You really put words to my feelings. I feel lost in The nightlife of Stockholm and really prefers dinnes at home. At the age of 28 I get anixety every Friday when it is time for the After work. Love the concept, bur people are su unsrue and the only thing you are askiing or talking about is "what do you do", a way to out people in boxes and to understand where they are in the society ladder. I canstand it. I was recently out in London a Friday afternoon and the atmosphere were so bubbly and open. Loved it. Met a lot of interesting people. I also want to say thank you for reminding me of that I can wear whatever I want and that it is not a positive thing to look ike everyone else, easy to forget in this city.

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  46. Yes Sweden really has its good and bad sides. My family is in a similar situation to yours, and we are constantly evaluating where to live... for now, we are in Stockholm, but this may change later. We believe that Sweden is really good when you have small children, but once they reach school age, other countries may become more appealing.

    I agree that Stockholm nightlife is far from fantastic, and there are a lot of peculiar aspects to our culture here, as Josefin mentioned, the question "what do you do", always comes up, and soon after, "where do you live" (or, if you are unlucky, they will actually ask you how large your apartment is and in some extreme cases what you paid for it). Foreigners, like my Southern European husband, find this extremely rude, which it is, I believe. I just focus on friends and family and do not bother too much with the rest.

    Another aspect is that you will always suffer a "culture crash" when moving back home after a longer time abroad. Maybe you are now noticing things you did not see before, and you see it in a harsher, new light. It will get better once you settle back in. There are good and bad aspects everywhere. In my family's other home country, people are genreally beautiful, charming, funny, corteous, and the food is maybe the best in Europe etc. But social mobility is more or less inexistent - maybe people are more relaxed about their social status because they never risk having much to do with someone of lower standing? The different worlds hardly even meet. In Sweden you might actually be lower middle class and dine next to the Crown Princess, that is quite extraordinary.

    MK

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    1. Spot on MK, about the questions "where do you live" and "what you paid for your apartment".
      I do not understand how that can be important as a dinner conversation. We are getting married soon and everyone asks about the budget....is it really important to know if and how we will manage to pull it off?

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    2. Talking about money is soo rude, I think. Asking about it, (even if it is your sister or brother) is even worse. Even though they know the person, money is, still, not some easy, casual topic you should discuss at the table. Even politics, or the theory of relativity or some other Einstein thing is easier to understand and change, even. You can't make an argument over some theory, but money, that's asking for trouble.

      Money is a personal, private matter that only belongs between you, your spouse, the bank and the tax office. (plus a few shops)

      Talking about money always leads to either 2 things: either the person talking about it has too much or too little. The people, who talk about it in my circles, are always unhappy about their money situation or their current relationship which has problems with...money.

      That's why I decided to avoid these kinds of people as much as possible, and rather spend the time-saved together with my husband, or with others, who don't ask us about these things. (well, obviously my man asks me about my money, but then, we only have Our Money)

      The only two real reasons why I'm interested in money are: 1) my personal pay is paid and taxed accurately and stored safely in the bank. and 2) all the money our government controls should be spent wisely. I only have faith in the first.

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  47. oh Stina, i want to have your problems....

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