Sunday, October 5, 2014

Good and bad

I'll start this post by saying that I have both good and bad news. And like always when life is versatile like that, i'll start with the bad. The bad news are that this past week, honestly, it was the hardest in a very long time. Two children are so much work and to some extend and just don't understand how people survive the small child years when they have more then one to take care of. I don't want to sound too negative since they are the most wonderful thing ever happened to me, but having them this close, both being so small, and often being by myself, all the jealousy, the fights and just an everyday feeling that I can't give them enough no matter how much i try and that i'm doing things wrong ...
I feel like I've come to a time where I just can't do it like this anymore. I'm so mentally tired, exhausted and just had enough of a lot of things and long for freedom, more time for myself, more help at home, more relationship time, sleep, calm and normality.
And so to the good news: our lovely Russian lady arrived yesterday after all this waiting and she is such a sweetheart and I really think she's going to be so much help! She is installed in our home now and I can't wait how everyday life will be a little bit easier as soon as she is into it all!

Talk soon and from now on I hope I will stop the need to complain and talk it all out, and just have nicer life stories and lovely pictures to show!!

22 comments:

  1. My dear Stina,
    I am so sad that my comment did not arrive from my Apple computers because I wrote a lot but unfortunately you never received !
    So this time from Windows I tell you that it was time that you had a rel help at home before your have a burn out.... Life will be much more easier and you will "nfin" make your artistic things or pilates or anything that is good for you besides your beautiful children.
    The only thing very sad is that your love cannot live with you, but I understand the situation of the job.
    You are always stunning, shining and so well dressed. Thanks to make to share a bit of your life.
    Big hugs

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    1. Thank you Dear Uta for being such a loyal and inspiring reader! I truly feel were blog-friends even though we've never meet in reality. I'm so sorry for the problem you have to comment, don't understand why it's like that. Hope it will be solved soon!

      I will again start Pilates two times peer week as soon as lady C is into the routines!

      Big hug,
      stina

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  2. Va skönt att du får hjälp snart :)

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  3. Tuffa / jobbiga veckor kommer och går. Otroligt glädjande att läsa att er "lady" äntligen har kommit. Hoppas att allt kommer bli bättre och enklare för hela er familj. Kramar!

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  4. Hej stina,

    I completely honesty understand you feeling, or let me put I it like this, you confirm all my worries about my family and friends that do their very best to try to get every day to past by, with kids, relationships, work, friends, grocery shopping, cleaning, health, joy, sadness, traffic jam etc etc

    I myself is slightly over 30 and is currently not in an relationship and I have no kids. I have just me to worry about. I have, since this summer with increased focus on my health, excluded a lot of things that contributed to stress. Alcohol, Facebook, Instagram, mail on my iPhone, more time for my self, I meditate, take time for exercise, calm, taking classes to be a certified healer, I do so many things to strengthen my self. And now, 2 months in to this "new" life, I feel that I have needed this for a very, very long time but have just disregarded it. And my point is that I think so many people actually need more tranquility. Not only me. But we get stuck in a life an structure created by us, by society.

    So, I'm happy you talk about this, and I hope you get positive feedback. I hope many people recognize the self in your situation, and start talking about how to do changes and/or adaptations in their own life's. Negative feedback should be the type of "everyone have this life stone, just deal with it! Or "a normal person can't afford a babysitter or someone to help with cleaning". Let's instead talk about how we can say no to unnecessary negativity, stress and workload to help ourself to be more happy and satisfied with our circumstances in our life's :)

    /Åsa

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    1. Superb put Åsa!

      I'm so sincerely happy that you too control over your life and highlighted the problems instead of thinking of them as normal. We all have our "burden" but it can be easier or more problematic. What seems really to help me (and it was my blog readers and Instagram readers ho inspired me since they told me that it works for them) is being more organized! Always be one step ahead with children and our life. And I've done it now for a couple of days, and truly it helps! Kids needs routines and organization, maybe something I've fail a little to do which would have prevented a lot of stress and chaos.

      I hope you keep doing what makes your life easier!

      Big hug,
      stina

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  5. Dear Stina, every person who ever cared for very small children knows this kind of exhaution and tiredness. For me it was one of the happiest times of my life, but at the same time so stressful. I am so happy for you that your Russian lady finally arrived. Thank you so much that you nevertheless continue posting such nice pictures. Hugs B(eatrice)

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    1. Thank you B for sharing and understanding! It truly helps knowing that one is not alone with those feelings!

      Hugs, stina

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  6. Stina I think she arrived in the nick of time! I'm crossing fingers that she will settle in fast to give you the help you need. When I think about the time my kids were small I'm not sure how I did it, it's mostly a blurry memory to tell the truth: the exhaustion and just constant care, and my first husband was absent and in fact a menace when he was around..but my children have grown up lovely strong and helpful people.
    If you continue to work part-time and have full-time help at home everything will be smooth and balanced for you and when M visits you'll be able to enjoy family time, sending my best wishes to you!

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    1. Thank you Dearly Dani! As I wrote above in the comment, knowing that there's so many women who gone through this and that their children are perfectly alright and the parents too, helps!

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  7. Oh, that is so nice for you to get help. The family certainly does not benefit if you have no strength and energy, so very good that your lady arrived finally.
    Love all your colourful coats for autumn. It is so nice to see colour instead of all black, grey and beige... Take care! Laila

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    1. Thank oyu! Very true! It's like in the airplanes, first the safety mask on the parents, then on the children!

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  8. Hi,
    I have 5 kids. The oldest one is 10, the youngest is 2. I have worked full time for a year and my husband is very busy and travels a lot for work.
    Honestly, I don't understand what you're

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    1. If you don't understand you don't. If you have five children and cannot even relate to what I feel, then I just say BRAVO! You should write a book on how you do it!

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  9. Happily your help arrived, it was time!
    Take care dear Stina. This coat suits you very well

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  10. So glad to hear help has arrived. This will make things much better. Have no doubt...One person can not do everything (work, child care, homemaking, relationship) on a daily basis

    Here is to a fresh start and a great pair of extra hands to help. This will also give you time for you and this is essential. All the best, Susan

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  11. Underbart att höra att er nanny är hos er! Skönt, nu måste du få lite tid för dig själv så du får ro i kropp och själ. Detta kommer bli så bra när ni får ordning och struktur på dagarna. Önskar ALL lycka till er alla! Och håller tummar för att du och M får lite kärlek för er själva:) Kram

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  12. Thank you Stina for the comments you wrote me on your previous post.

    Great news that you now have some help around the house. I'm not a mom, so I'm really not an expert, but I know how important sleep is. Having a little one in bed, when you're trying to get some sleep, is really a problem. Does it happen when your husband is at home? If it doesn't, maybe you could copy what he's doing or what your mom has to say or your girl friends?

    Even though it may hurt in your heart to say "no", but sometimes it's the best for the kids. ( I know my mom probably had to tell me "no" many times...:)







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  13. That is the complaint of every working mother-not enough time for the children-I do not know if there is ever a true balance. You do the best you can. Life is too busy sometimes with all the other distractions. Hopefully the help will give you a reprieve and more time to spend with them.

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