Sunday, November 15, 2015

Sunday fun

Just another really lovely day. We spent the whole noon fixing our garden in proper clothes, making leaves go away and taking pots and flower rests and put them in our garden house. The weather was grey and humid but this sort of work really makes you feel alive and warm.

After we went to one of my dear friends son's birthday party with lots of children and a Pinjata in the end. So much fun and just lovely to meet other parents with children. We all looked exhausted and that's why we should never pretend that it's easy to have children. Totally worth it and we love them to death, but never tell me it's easy. I won't believe you. Not if you are someone like me, who wants to be most of my time with them and give them everything I can in presence and love.

I got a comment that I complain a lot that I'm tired, but I am! Truly! Most parents are that try to combine work with children's need and everything around a family and a household. I don't feel like pretending that I live in a perfect world, no one does and we struggle and do as best as we can, just like any other person out there. If I would just play along in the game like many other parents do, pretending that everything is perfectly fine and then one year later the parents get divorce or smash into a wall of depression, I mean, what's that? No i believe in talking and helping each other, share and try to make others understand that were all in the same boat. One feel less lonely and I think we get strength to do better with that sort of mind setting.

Anyhow, after this lovely gathering it was time for a Sunday dinner at my parents place. So cosy and the kids feel so at home there and they love their Mormor and Morfar to pieces. Can't wait for Christmas when we have us all, from different places together again.

Hope you all had a great weekend despise from the horrendous thing happening in Paris. Madonna talked about beautiful things in her concert yesterday, we had a silent moment with her and honestly, all that can save us is if we start to love ourself and others, no matter how different they are from what we are. Love is the only thing that can heal us and prevent things like this. Hate will never win over love just like one single little candle has the possibility to light up a whole room of darkness  Never forget te power that lyes in the small things of kindness, understanding and unconditional love to the human. 


(angora sweater: Acne, jeans: Superjeans of Sweden, boots and bag: Saint Laurent)



20 comments:

  1. You look so young and fresh Stina, maybe a day off to relax had some restorative power. I like that you are honest about parenting, of course it's the most wonderful thing to us parents but it really is so draining a lot of the time. Too many blogs make it sound a breeze. The massacre in Paris has shocked and saddened me so much that I can't sleep properly. Those poor, poor people, just like us, going about their lives. You are right of course, love and kindness can win. Take care Stina,
    Hugs, Vicki.

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    1. Yes attics like these brings awareness to us that still are here. We need to appreciate the freedom we still have and stay strong and loving for those in loss.

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  2. So well said Stina regarding the horrible events in Paris, which is very hard to articulate...
    And so true too that we need to tell it like it is, acknowledge our challenges, how else are we to grow? Clearly none of us has perfect lives and as humans we have lots of work to do, but to go forward in honesty and love is the only way.
    Happy too you have other young busy parents as friends, we also have had such a group and this morning I did yoga for 1.5 hours with 5 of these ladies, we talked about the times of exhaustion with little kids and how it changes too, now we have time to indulge ourselves with exercise and quiet times on a Sunday, who would have thought it 10 years ago?
    Best to you for a great week XO

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    1. Thank you for sharing! I do know that it will get easier and I will have more time probably in the future, that's also WHY I want to be with my children as much as possible now, because I know there will be a day when they say, " no mum, I wan't to hang with my friends". I then want to feel like I've given them ME as much as possible when they really needed it.

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    2. That day will come for sure, so many young parents can't recognize that, I have never regretted all of the time and holidays I spent with my children... nor will you. My gosh is it tiring though.
      Keeping it real here on your blog as well as sharing your glamour and beauty is really what I appreciate, it is personal and different. XOX

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  3. Each comment is very right and intelligent concerning life, children, stress etc.
    Nothing to say more.....
    To be superficial, I dont know this beautiful fox fur jacket?
    Hugs

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    1. Thank you Uta! We just have to stay open minded!

      Big hug

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  4. I do understand that it's tough with two small children, the man away (his/your own choice though!), being a working mom and a house to take care of. But as I said before - I do think that it's a little tiring to read about you whining what feels like all the time. It doesn't mean that I want to have you lie about reality and that it's sometimes tough with small children doesn't come as a surprise but if it's so exhausting then why do you continue like this?
    You are very privileged in comparison to others: have a nanny/ housekeeper that stays with you to support the family, your parents close by, enough financial resources to pay for extra service if so needed and a lot of the stress seems to be homemade (private schools for the boys which is probably further away than the local school so they need to be taken there by car, all extra French/other classes instead of just have them hanging out with the neighbor kids playing etc. etc.).
    Don't even start the "you're just jealous" because I'm surely not. What I'm saying is that it's for sure tough at times to have small children but you make certain choices as an adult of how you want to bring up your children and how you want to organize your life around it. Wanting it all at the same time and always is for sure not going to work out. I'm neither jealous nor judging you nor mean but realistic and saying that if you're constantly so stressed out that it seems to be dominating your life and affecting your health it might be worth thinking about a change because you are the only one who can.

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    1. Thank you for this. You truly know my life, you must really be reading this blog and remember every lithe piece of it.
      But one thing you got wrong. I haven't had any help since beginning of August. Yes, today have a new woman helping me at home, but that is just since a few weeks in time.

      That I'm stressed must be the wrong vocabulary, I don't feel stressed at all, exhausted YES. You could never understand a person without living in her shoes, so therefor I can't expect you to understand my life, choices or feelings. Of course I could live a less exhausting life with a full time nanny handling my children, not working and not bringing my kids to playdates and after school things, but then I would not give them what I want to give them, which is ME and a warm and lovely life.

      This blog is written by me for those who likes it. I am the author and I write about what I want to write about.

      I don't think you are jealous, I just think you haven't walked in my shoes and quite clearly you would chose another way if you had children then I have. Good for you.

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  5. Yes, you're the author of this blog and can write about whatever you want. Full stop.
    If you prefer a blog to be a one-way-communication (You talk, we listen!) or want readers to only admire your coat/shoes/handbags without the slightest word of feedback - your choice too.
    I do have children, I raise them differently, yes, and if I have a problem, I utter it to people in the different social circles I'm in (I do consider a blog to be a social circle as well! I'm just not writing one.), I listen to what they have to say about it, I make my choices and live with the consequences or reconsider my options. You probably do the same. No need to snap back.
    I was trying to be constructive (had a similar conversation with a mom in pre-school a couple of weeks ago) but don't have a problem at all with keeping my opinion to myself and check in once in a while or stay away if the topic isn't of any interest for me.
    Thanks and have a good day!

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    1. Thank out, I don't snap, just find it fascinating that you've analyzed my whole life without living it. It's very easy to do so, by the things I write or show, my only explanation is that you or anyone else can never know the full story, since you don't live my life. Neither can I with your life, or anyones life before we truly get the whole picture. And I can assure you that my blog is 5 procent of what I live.

      I try to give an honest view of parenthood for the simple fact that most of us need it more then someone who constantly brag about how amazing it is. I do that too, but it's up and down and I hope I make women or men feel that were together in this. Having two small boys very close to one each other is FAR more intense then having five years difference or two girls, I don't say it's not hard to have two children no matter what sex they are, but boys have another Testosterone level which makes them just more of everything. Yes, I was myself a energetic girl, but even my mum (and most parents with one of each or two boys) who is a teacher says it's huge difference, They are never still and fight, run and need me a lot.

      I love being a mother, truly love it and that's why it's exhausting. Because I do it 100 precent and have neglected a lot of myself in the journey I've done. Else because my man is away every second week, I want to give the children even more of myself to secure them and make them feel that they're not lacking anything.

      this have result in an exhausted (but happy) mother for sure. My decision now when they are slightly older is to meet my girls friends as much as I can since they truly give me so much energy.

      I think you understand and I do understand you and great you for maybe being less exhausted or at least not write about it in a blog. But yet, just two different ways of living a life.

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    2. That's perfectly fine. I didn't want to offend you since I would not see any benefit from that but felt it sometimes might help to remind people that it's worth to reconsider the choices you make in everyday life and this way become a less exhausted and more balanced person and this is a daily struggle for everyone, man or woman. I'm not at all judging you and your qualities as a mother (hell no, never!) neither do I say that I'm perfect because as we all know, nobody is 
      But today I learned that feedback or discussions on critical observations is not considered appropriate and even as an intruding act into someone’s life whilst feedback on strong and favorable attributes that one might have and show on a blog is considered as a compliment.
      I guess this conversation could go on for hours with no conclusion hence I think it’s totally fine to agree that we disagree.
      I hope you stay happy and healthy and your family too!

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  6. Yaca is clearly a troll, perhaps the one also disguised as anonymously in other comments. What sort of person writes such nasty things? Obviously very jealous, full of hate. She should turn her vision inward and examine her own life and see if she can bring some peace to her life. All of us who comment on Stinas blog feel some connection to her, whether it is trying to juggle parenting with work, maintaining relationships, keeping healthy, living well, helping friends, in short we're all trying to live in this world the best we can. Why aren't you honest about who you are Yaca, and while you're at it write your own blog so we can see how perfect you are!

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  7. Poor Yaca! You just lost a long of your precious time to write these kind of criticism.... Stay with your way if life, friends, or whatever you wish, your comments are not welcomed in the blog of Stina.
    We, all here, readers for years, understand her, admire her for all she does and how she raises her children. We also like very much that she shows us her new coats, shoes, etc and speaks of everything
    Even when she is fed up if tired. She is a absolutely honnest and no we are not living in her shoes, nothing is never perfect but we can say that her blog is perfect in the sense of a lot of things different to write, thing, etc etc.
    In French, Yaca. Y a cas, means something like to : do what I do its easy but not another thing " you get the right name Yaca.......

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  8. Only to bore Yaca, dear Stina, did you receive the Fendi's brochure ? A beautiful book. I just received it by post right now......
    Life gives little sign like this! Just to say that its so ridiculous to thing if ourselves that we are the best and right thinking.
    If you had watched at midday the TV and saw all the thousands of persons respecting one silent minute for all these terrible deaths in Paris of innocents, may be you would have understood what love of each others means.

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  9. I understand all of your views. And I have full respect for Stina's life and all it's ups and downs. As you already know Stina, you are the only one who know how. But I don't see Yaca being judgemental or criticing you. She clearly comes from a point of understanding and want you to step back and reconsider your choice so that you have time for yourself and can live your life fully without being exhausted. It is in these years that it is extra tiring but maybe you should reconsider not working that much or your man coming home more? I know it is a sensitive subject but why don't your man move to Sweden? I get that the working life is not the same and that he doesn't know Swedish but I feel with you Stina that you have to go thorugh this all by yourself. You have two beautiful children now and they need their mommy to be happy and a father who is there both for their mummy and them. Is not children more worthy moving for than any job in the world? A job you can always get and create but children are your flesh and blood, your future and everything. Is this what you really planned for yourself? It is now about being the best mother or being in your shoes. We have full respect for that. But we care for you and want you to be as happy as you can be! You mention this frequently and it would be odd if we wouldn't respond to it since we follow you so closely with your life. Clearly money and status cannot buy you the most important thing in the world - time and hapiness. All the best to you Stina and your little ones! We have being seing you going through many aspects of life and therefor we feel close to you even if that is not the whole picture. From IVFs, to divorce, to finding a new man and unexpectadliy getting pregnant with him. You were very happy at that time but I hate seeing you this unhappy, or exhausted, if you so will. It seems to be a never ending story. Amanda

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  10. Love is needed but immigration of Muslims into EU must be curbed for many reasons.

    I have a little girl and I say every single day how tired I am. I am tired of saying how tired I am. Especially here in the US where everyone expects you to say I am doing great/amazing/could not be better.

    Thank you for your blog.

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    1. That is a very cruel thing to say.. Do not blame muslims just because of ISIS! There are several reports that show us that ISIS by fact are controlled by the US.

      Muslims have to take too much in this world of terror and it is not their fault. Let's not even go there!

      Blessings to you and your family!

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    2. Funny how all these terrorists like to shout "Allah Akbar"? What about their barbaric beliefs and practices? Come on...

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  11. In fact, everyone has is own opinion which is very interesting and I dont think that Yaca would hurt you Stina.
    She is giving you advices that you dont need, that' all. I am also very exhausted, managing a difficult life, but I completely understand your point of view. We better all of us, to continue to follow the Stina 's blog without judging anything, only appreciate this wonderful work of honnestly and so fabulous blog. The only one that I like so much and that I read each day with a great pleasure. Normally, I do not comment. Thank again Stina for such a beautifull complete and interesting blog.

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